Week two after training camp I felt like I was in a healthy place. I was reading my bible, I was praying, and I was trying to grow deeper in family and community. Last Thursday I was sharing the post about the attack that happened to P-squad in Zambia and the injury sustained to Matt Blair. Friday I was on my way home singing a song I had stuck in my head since the day before.
“You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There maybe pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don’t have to be afraid. Because I know that you love me. Your love never fails.”
I thought about what does word mean and the power in them. I thought about where I have been in a time of darkness and how far God has brought me into the light. Not ten minutes later as I was driving I lost all power to my transmission. I had no warning, no sign. I cursed it until I found a good spot to be able to tow it. I sat there just wondering how smooth everything was going (other than fundraising). I thought, this can’t be happening two months before launch. I took a deep breath and then had a grin on my face I could not shake. I thought “My faith is in the Lord. I trust my life to you.” I made some phone calls and planned on towing my car to the shop Saturday or Sunday with a friend’s help to save money.
(This is what my car looks like, noting fancy yet there was)
I had a truck and a car dolly ready to head to the shop that Sunday while it was raining. As I walked up to the car I notice something on the ground. It was a wheel, just not my wheel. My wheel on the passenger rear side was gone! Lug nuts and all, gone! I smiled thinking this was a sick world where someone would go through the trouble to take ONE wheel. I’ve had my radio stolen, I’ve had my car broken into and had my watch and speakers stolen, but a wheel!!!! I was salty for the rest of the day.
I dropped my car at the shop the next day. They said it was going to be $200 to fix. Once that was fixed, we found two other things wrong that lead to what broke. To fix the car completely, with a used rim and tire, cost a week and $650. I don’t like posting everything about my life on social media. Only close friends and family know about the struggle I’ve been going through to get to work and back home, staying with co workers. I didn’t want this to discourage me. I started a fundraiser in the middle of the week. The amount of support has been unreal. So many people have come through without knowing what I’d been going through.
I think about where I was a week ago and where I am now. I remember thinking “Man, this spiritual warfare is for real!” I started to think what that meant. Spiritual warfare is defined as the Christian version of the concept of taking a stand against preternatural evil forces. For me, I realized it was not fighting against the devil but not siding with him. I found myself tempted to believe his lies over God’s truth. My spiritual warfare was not between good and evil, it was between good and ME. It came down to rather I could continue to have faith and rely on God to get me through the day. Through prayer, I remind myself who I belong to. With my words I declare I AM A SON OF GOD. For me it comes natural to believe the whispers of deceit, yet I have to fight to side with God.
So now my car is fixed, I replaced the rim and put an eight year old tire. I know things happen, both good and bad. I just pray that not I can see the bad for the opportunity that it is to grow in faith.
Thanks for all the support. Remember you can always give more if so inclined haha. God bless you all.
