Why is it that some days I wake up and say “F it!”? This trip was not designed for a man like me. I’m not going to allow that to be an excuse to act like a punk and pout, but it’s something I have needed to address within myself. When I signed up for the world race I thought it would help me grow a little bit but mostly I just wanted to help people. Little did I know this trip is just as much about being relational and vulnerable with the people I’m traveling the world with as it is helping the folks in the countries we visit. If you know me, you know that those are two things- being relational and vulnerable- I don’t care much about. In my eyes I’m a man’s man. I don’t cry or get emotional about much, except for Kobe Bryant retiring that is. Now that’s a tear jerker!
I came into this trip at a full sprint. I remember month two in Africa, we were with our entire squad and I wrote damn near every person a heart felt note about the good I saw in them. It was a new thing for me and it felt great to open up to people in such ways, however somewhere along the way I hit a wall. I think it was right after we finished our fourth month. We were in India and I had nothing left to give people. I was over it and reverted back to the same way I’d lived my life thus far. Living day to day with this mindset that I really didn’t need anyone except for myself. I even went as far as telling myself that that was the way God wired me.
This is not true. I need people who love me and force me to go to deeper levels within myself. I’ve found it’s quite freeing when you can just be yourself, put down your guard, and let people in. In the past few months I’ve had more real conversations than I have in years, simply because I’m just being myself. I’ve reverted to the mindset of a child by acting free from notions of being judged and it has been incredible. I say what’s on my mind regardless of whether it’s going to change someone’s opinion of me. Even if my words cause rejection or an awkwardness in relationship, because that’s me being genuine and I like who I am. As a matter of fact I think I’m pretty cool. Being relational with people is not easy and it takes discipline just like everything else in life. I’ve not come anywhere near mastering any of this but I will do my best from here on out.
I need to grow spiritually every day, no doubt, that’s priority number one for me. I also want to grow as a man everyday and if I’m not better tomorrow than I am today I have failed. This is not an easy way to live but it’s the only way I can grow and keep myself accountable spiritually, mentally, and physically. I challenge you all to do the same. If you have one hour a day of what we will call “free time” I challenge you to do these 3 things.
1. Take 20 minutes to pray/meditate it’s always good for your soul and it helps clear your head.
2. Take 20 minutes to read wheather it’s the bible or a novel just read.
3. Take at least 20 minutes for physical exercise it does wonders for your mind body and soul.
