Sometimes we are our own worst critic; Correction we ARE our own worst critic. The devil plays well with this…
What’s that red spot on your face? STAB.
What’s wrong with you? STAB.
You’re totally mental. STAB. STAB.
You’re a boy. STAB.
What’s on your face? STAB.
That’s a boy haircut. STAB.
Why is your face so shiny. STAB.
I thought you were a boy. STAB.
You’re not womanly. STAB.
You’re not beautiful enough. STAB.
You’re not good enough. STAB.
You’re not normal. STAB. STAB. STAB.
All things we have heard before, through others or things we tell ourselves… That last one may actually be quite true, we are uniquely made by God, not one person alike! The devil is cunning and will tell you just about anything in just about any way. The most effective way is to tell you there is something wrong with you and then have someone else you love say that same thing. Whether they are joking or not it cuts deep, to the core, destroying your joy and confidence.
Personally, I have a great joy and confidence that comes from the Lord and it is a strength I am very grateful for. However, while having been on the Race I have been called a boy, because of my short hair, many times and I have had my acne, which needless to say I HATE with a burning fiery passion, pointed out to me many times. Never was it intended for harm and the people who did it did not understand what they were doing or were merely joking with me. Recently though the stabs finally hit something. It’s quite the process, stab-heal, stab-heal, stab-heal and so on. I will be the first to admit I get stabbed quite often in this way; however, we do not have to take that as something bad. It means the devil is trying to take us down, how we react to the stabs tells us who we really are. YOU ARE GOING TO GET HIT! (This applies to more than just appearance.) Do you run to God first? Do you pout and ask God why? Do you get back up again? Do you cry about it? Do you remind yourself of TRUTH? That is what I have to do… Remind myself of what is TRUE about me and about my God. I have placed this self portrait in this blog because I will no longer be hurt for my imperfections… I WILL NOT HIDE MY FACE IN SHAME! I will be who I am, who God made me to be and that is that.
I will remain in truth:
“You are all together beautiful my darling; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
“Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.” Psalm 27:3 (This verse I received from a teammate the same day that I had found it for myself.)
“…let us make mankind in our image; in our likeness…” Genesis 1:26
“…All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.” Ruth 3:11
