I would like to open this blog by saying thank you and also by apologizing. Thank you for sending me. Thank you for supporting me both financially and spiritually as I prepared for this trip, launched, and arrived in Albania (it’s crazy to think, but in just over a month I’ll be headed to the Philippines). Some of you have just joined me on my journey, but others have watched my race unfold from just a thought, to a “maybe I could actually pull this off”, to an, “I’m here now and I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.” However, I am also sorry. I apologize that I have not been a good steward of the gratitude I have towards my supporters. Receiving is much easier than giving, and I have been at the receiving end of a huge amount of love. A love that, I have realized, I have been drowning in for my whole life, in the best way possible.
About a week ago, my parents let me know that I had been fully funded; meaning the financial aspect of my trip had been met. This was something that, for a long time, hung as a stress on my heart. I was ecstatic when I was blessed with the first $100 and equally so as when the last $100 was deposited. I wasn’t surprised that I had people in my life that would give, I have friends and family and friends of family that every day flood me with their love, I was surprised because I didn’t realize just how many people loved me and wanted to be a part of something that was close to my heart, and if nothing else, all shared one love, Jesus Christ, that led them to support me.
When I received word that I had been fully funded, a wave of thankfulness and peace washed over me, I did it, rather, you did it! I felt as if I could finally get rid of the voice in my head that told me I would never make it, that it was too much. But, we did it and I was elated hearing the news, but I let it stop at that… I left my gratitude in that coffee shop and walked away without looking back. Or maybe, I lost it far before then.
I made a promise to my supporters that they would get to be a part of my journey in building the Kingdom. I know that I have not fulfilled my promise to the best of my ability. I got lazy before I even got here. I blamed it on culture shock, on wanting to “live in the moment”, on not wanting to clog people’s social media accounts because I was insecure. But those excuses are lame and paper-thin. I can do better, I want to do better. I want to live in the moment, but capture the moment as well. I want you to see the joys and challenges of coffee shop outreach. I want you to get to know my host, Erion, as well as I have. I want to take you around my neighborhood and make you fall in love with the country like I have. This is your journey too and I’m sorry I have been hogging it.
Once I post this blog, it means I have to step up and work hard, to pull out my camera or pen when it would be easier to leave it tucked away. I could just let these words fester on my computer like they’ve festered in my heart, but I won’t. I want you to hold me accountable to this promise. I’m fully funded as well as fully flooded by your love, your kindness, and your confidence in me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
