The Words of King Lemuel
31 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:
2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows? 3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings. 4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, 5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. 6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress; 7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. 8 Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. 9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
The Woman Who Fears the Lord
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Proverbs 31 woman please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Proverbs 31 woman please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here…
-Eminem (well, sort of)
There is a lot of what some may call “Christian slang” out there. Enough, in fact, that I think one has the possibility of being extremely successful if they were to create a Christian Urban Dictionary of sorts. I’m being completely serious. It took me too long to realize what the man in front of me at church meant when he whispered to his friend that he was going to “shoot God a knee-mail,” until he proceeded to fold his hands and bow his head. Dude! Couldn’t you have just said, “I’m going to pray now”? Really? Knee-mail?
And then there are the super cool flat, band bracelets that seem to have adorned the wrist of every young adult Christian at least once in their lives with the letters “W.W.J.D.” embroidered on them. Translation: What would Jesus do? I wore one for a while after my YoungLife leader handed one to each of us who attended a winter camp and, I wore it proudly. One time it even kept me from talking back to my mom when I glanced at it, but it was also on my wrist when someone cut me off seconds later and I laid on my horn for a good ten seconds. It was then that I realized, they’re basically the Jesus version of Phitens (the ropes every athlete in middle school wore because they supposedly balanced you out). Side note, if a cute baseball/football /really anyone who could throw a ball gave you his Phiten to wear, you were basically married. I never got one… The truth is, they’re placebos, wearing a Phiten will definitely NOT enable you to stand on one leg for longer and a W.W.J.D. band will not magically keep you from making the wrong decision (however, I do see why a reminder every once in awhile can come in handy). So W.W.J.D. bracelets, yes, Phitens, no.
Never in my life, however, have I heard the term P-31. Well, never until yesterday at least. I’m currently reading A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband ‘Master’ by Rachel Held Evans, and let me tell you, Mrs. Evans calling her husband “master” is one of the more comfortable things she did in the project. She took every verse in the Bible that spoke to or referenced females of any sort, queens to prostitutes and applied them literally to her life. I’m not done reading yet, but Mrs. Evans is currently tackling the lifestyle of the Proverbs 31 woman, hence, P-31.
Now, I’m not exempt from the crowd of Christian women under the spell of the P-31 passage. In fact, the top of my laptop is decorated with Proverbs 31:25 (perhaps the most well known verse of the P-31 passage) “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at times to come.” If Nike shorts and an oversized T-shirt are the clothes of a strong and dignified woman, then I’ve got that part down pat, but I’m definitely not laughing at my future, unless of course, the nervous chuckle I emit when people ask me about my 5 year plan counts… But, like many verses in the Bible, this verse is taken out of context, not in a bad way, not in a good way, it just is. Go back and read the entire P-31 passage, maybe do some research about it too.
You’ll probably find out that P-31 was actually an acrostic poem created by King Lemuel’s mother when she was simultaneously teaching him the Hebrew alphabet and giving him girl advice (or making it absolutely impossible for him to find a wife). I repeat, this was not written about an actual woman, but rather an ideal.
There are 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet and 31 minus 9 (because the first 9 verses aren’t part of the acrostic) is, wow look at that, 22! So ladies, there you go, only 22 steps to becoming the ultimate Biblical woman AND learning the Hebrew alphabet. How easy! If there was an ancient version of Cosmopolitan magazine, there for sure would have been an issue with the words “22 easy steps to becoming the P-31 woman” on the cover and a picture of Beyoncé, but, you know, a Biblical Beyoncé with her head covered and cool, strappy sandals. But the reality is, this woman doesn’t exist, just like God doesn’t’ have a knee-mail address and a W.W.J.D. bracelet doesn’t teach you right from wrong by osmosis. I understand having standards, heck, I have them (must love Jesus, dogs, and coffee). But, men, if you are describing your ideal woman as a P-31, stop! Ladies, if you are comparing yourself to the P-31 woman, stop!
Don’t get me wrong, I love this passage and I think it’s a good reminder of who we can strive to be as Christian women, but I’m also saying, this woman is not who we, as individual daughters of Christ, are expected to be. Unless of course you rise before dawn, stay up past midnight, and sell your homemade wine that was fermented from the grapes in your personal vineyard. My point is, ladies you are fabulous as you are and created to be who you are right now, this proverb should be interpreted and applied as you see fit. If your strength and dignity is Nikes and a T-shirt, you’re doing it right. If it’s jeans and a blouse, you’re doing it right. If you strut around in a ball gown all day, you’re doing it right, also, work it girl.
So I’m done asking where the Proverbs 31 woman is, because the truth is…
