Right now it is 12:18 AM and I am sitting in my living room with a friend of mine reading on the couch next to me. Without going into too much detail about how she got here I will say that she is dealing with a very poor hand of cards and no place to live at the moment. She is ten years older than I with three small children and a history that will break your heart. With her children spending another night with their father and my friend's ex-husband she is here with me for the night. And I am sitting her finishing a response to my assigned reading and feeling the weight of conviction upon my heart.
God has given me so much and I have hoarded every bit of it. I have built a palace of stuff that I call "mine." I have what I need and money in my pocket and still I complain about needing more… more of this, more money, etc. I am convicted by the presence of my friend. She has endured so much, but has never given up. She is reminding me to have a servant's heart.
I am convicted by my squad mate, Brandi's last blog post (read about it here) about not spending money and being a good steward. I may be pumped for the race, to get out there and go, but the missions field isn't just out there, it's everywhere. I am here until July and this is my missions field until then. I am convicted by my poor financial decisions and my poor use of my time. God has blessed me with money and time and life and I am being reminded that I surrendered it all over to him and that I die and he lives through me.
So from now until this time next week I will be re-focusing my attention and trying to see life with God's eyes.
