February 4th:
I have officially finished my first month in Malawi Africa. The heat no longer makes my fingers swell. I have learned to love bucket showers. And having a bed now seems like luxury living, even if the mosquito net covering it catches cockroaches landing above my head at night.
When we arrived in Malawi, our host (Pastor Anthony) told us that our next three months with him would truly be “life on mission”. At first we all looked around at each other and wondered what the last 3 months of our race had been, was it not “life on mission”? We had enjoyed our time in Asia and had seen indescribable things. Immense poverty, crippling diseases, victims of prostitution, it seemed like life on mission to me.
After loading us into the bus in Lilongwe, Pastor Anthony told us we would spend the first 3 and a half weeks living in a tiny village called Chinteche doing door to door evangelism. Once arriving in Chinteche, I immediately knew that my heart belonged in Africa. We had one room to share with 3 girls. One bed for all 3 of us. A tin roof over our house and termites covering the walls. Our bathroom was a hole in the ground outside and our host mom would cook our food over the charcoal fire every night, even when it was pouring down rain. We had no outside contact for 3 weeks, and lots and lots of free time. In return our team became very close. Our time was spent reading the bible and laughing with the never ending group of pastors that came to visit us daily.
Life was hard, messy and freeing. I have never been stretched more spiritually in my whole entire life. You see, when God strips you down to your core, you have nothing else to do but press into Him. No curtain to hide behind. No wifi to comfort you. Just you and Jesus. Around 5 days into being in Chinteche I became very sick. I woke up one night running to the “squatty” outside our house. For the next 28 hours that “squatty” was where I spent majority of my time. My dear friend Sarah would sing “No Longer A Slave To Fear” at 2 am so I wouldn’t think about the coach roaches running around my feet. The scorpions on the wall soon didn’t phase me. It was at that point that I decided to take Cipro. Cipro is a must bring for anyone considering the race. Luckily, I took medicine for 3 days and felt much better.
Our next 3 weeks in Chinteche were filled with redefining life experiences. The Lord humbled me, rocked my world and changed my heart. We became close friends with a pastor that completely changed my idea of what Jesus’s unconditional love looks like. This pastor had been in a gang for years. Out of the 11 members he was the only one that hadn’t been killed or sent to prison. But then, he met Jesus. He redefined his life. He devoted his life to Christ. When I look at Him, I only see a man that loves the Lord. This was just one of the many stories we experienced during our time in Chinteche. We prayed for a young girl with yellow fever. Heard a man tell us about His devastating experience battling HIV and how it now affected his children. Casted demons out of young children who had been cursed by people who practiced witchcraft. And preached more sermons then I can count. Africa felt like home. Loud worship and outrageous dancing. It felt like long days and short weeks, as my dad would say.
Our time in Chinteche passed and we had to head off to our new ministry sight. It was the first time on the race that words could not express what I felt leaving that tiny village. I left part of my heart with Pastor Yoram and his family. They are my home away from home. Chinteche gave me stories to last a life time.
When we arrived in Nkotakota, I began to feel very sick again. It just so happened that our Squad Leaders were with us for a few days. After a night of vomiting, I was in too much pain to comprehend so my friend Nina and my squad leader Amanda took me to the hospital. With sweat running down my face and tears in my eyes Nina and Amanda helped carry me into this small African hospital. I was beyond blessed because my new host mom worked at this hospital and was able to get me a room with one other person instead of being in the female ward. After laying down on the bed doctors and nurses came swarming in asking what was wrong with the “Azungo” (meaning white man). All of these faces staring at me. All of these hands poking me. It was at that point that I lost it. Any remaining strength to stay calm that I had completely vanished. I felt that panic sweep over me. Tears flooded my face. I was not only in physical pain, but spiritual. I looked at Nina and screamed “ I want to go home, I can’t do this anymore.” Nina looked back at me with no words, but tears in her eyes.
I spent 2 days in the hospital. No answers. They think I had a bacterial infection in my stomach but the tests were inconclusive. At night I would hear the screams of families as their loved ones passed away. In a government hospital in Africa with no air conditioning, the stench was almost unbearable. I was scared. Every time the doctor or nurse would come in to give me medicine, I would ask them if it would work. The answer was always the same, “ We think.” I didn’t want someone to “think”. I wanted them to know. Then the second night in the hospital, the Lord completely humbled me. My nurse Irene came in to change my IV and when I asked her “Will this medicine heal me?” she responded with a phrase that brought me back to reality.
“My darling, do you not have faith?”
Where had my faith been lying? On the doctors to heal me? Or in the Lord? One of the hardest experiences I have been through ended up being the most spiritually fruitful. No one else can heal me. The Lord was the only one. The answer was always Him.
“Yet I will show love to Judah; and I will save them- not by bow, sword or battle, or by horses and horsemen, but I the Lord their God, will save them.” ~ Hosea 1:7
I had a refueled spirit. I didn’t want to go home anymore. I knew that although my strength alone couldn’t hold me for the next 5 months of the race, the Lords could. He is always good and He loves us even during our times of doubt. So while Africa has been difficult, I would not have it any other way. He continues to surprise me everyday with His abundant grace.
So yes, this is life on mission. But it always was and it always will be. And man do I love it!
For my supporters:
Thank you so much for all of the prayers and financial support that you continue to offer. I have been blessed beyond words. This experience continues to transform my life and the lives around me. I still have around $2,000 more to raise before I am fully funded. So please feel free to share with all of your friends and family if you feel compelled.
Thank you again,
Emily
