A year ago, my squad and I chose to come on this adventure of an 11-month-long mission, and with that decision we also committed to not forming any new relationships before leaving or during our time on the field in order to be completely focused. Some people were quite upset with this “contract” and wrote blogs about how hard these months would be, but me…
Let’s be real, if you know me you know I’ve never had a boyfriend or even been on a date. So what would be different about this year for me than any other year of my life?
I spent many years seeking the attention and approval of guys, although it was never reciprocated in high school or college. But I still sought after it and “talking” to boys (basically texting) became a way I felt better about the lack of courting in my life. Yes, it’s been hard going 24 years of my life without a boyfriend when many people around have been on numerous dates and have had a handful of boyfriends.
It hit me my senior year of college when a guy said something along the lines of “You’re great, but I just don’t want anything serious.” I felt used up and finally had the realization that getting a boyfriend would not make me feel better about myself and that it wasn’t the ultimate goal in life. I had to come to a place where I would only find fulfillment from the Lord and satisfaction solely from His love.
And that’s exactly what this year has done for me. I say this straight faced when I say I have not been distracted by boys at all this year. I truly believe the Lord was protecting my heart by placing no guys in my path this year because I’ve had an entire year with no distractions from the Lord, seeking only His love and igniting the most intimate relationship in my life.
I tried to fill a void in my heart for many years with the distractions that the world offers but nothing can satisfy like the love and peace of the Lord. Yes, going a year without dating or talking to a guy may seem hard, unnecessary or long, but freeing myself of any distractions a guy could bring developed intimacy with the One who satisfies my soul like I have never experienced before.
To future Racers and my M squad: Don’t take this contract lightly; it isn’t unfair, but soul satisfying. When else in your life are you going to take a year off of dates or dating? Take this year to focus on your relationship with the Lord because in that place you will find true intimacy with Him, and that is all that matters. You can have time to solidify your identity solely in the Lord and prepare yourself for a future serious relationship.
In a Breakaway podcast, Ben Stuart recalls the story of the woman at the well and how Jesus believed “she has been looking for deep soul thirst in the arms of a man and she misdiagnosed her need. Before you seek a guy or girl you need to get on board with God. Before your marriage you need to meet your Maker. Because it is in the stability of walking with Him that we have the resources to be a blessing to each other. We have to be connected to a source of life if we’re going to be source of life.”
