So, I came home 37 days ago from being gone for 11 months. After two short weeks of
being home, I left again; you may not have noticed but I’ve been in Georgia for a whole
month.
Heading into 10 days of training camp, I had my normal “no big deal” attitude with
an extra dose of “this will be easy peasy,” possibly went in with too big of a head. And
while I was excited and anticipating a good week for training camp, it never even occurred
to me that this would be a time that would stretch my spiritual walk and grow me
emotionally and spiritually.
I’ll be honest, I came into Squad Leader training and training camp spiritually weak. When
I got home from the Race, it became difficult for me to rely on the Lord like I did in other
countries. Life in America was very easy for me for two weeks and I didn’t invite the
Lord into that space; there was no desperation for Him at home. I knew the Lord wouldn’t
bring me back to Texas if He wasn’t going to meet me there, I knew He was there; I just
didn’t try to meet him. So to say the least, I did not set myself up for success coming into
Gainesville, Georgia.
But the Lord is gracious and a redeemer; although I allowed myself to run dry, He
relentlessly pursued me. Throughout training camp, the Lord just showed His goodness to
me, that although I pushed away from Him, He wasn’t letting me go anywhere. There
were multiple times in worship where I found myself weeping (yes, ugly cries) in awe
of all He has done in my life and where He is leading me.
While I was feeling so surrounded and loved by the Lord, I was also walking through
spiritual attacks on my identity and giftings. I hadn’t struggled with this for a year, and as
hard as it was, these lies brought me back to the feet of Jesus and the desperation for
Him that I had walked in on the Race. For the month, I had people who loved me speak
truth into my life and I pulled my head up and believed it myself.
I reminded myself the entire 11 months that my World Race is not the pinnacle of my life
or my walk with Jesus; if it was then that’s a very sad day. So, even though I experienced
so much life and adventure this past year…. it’s not over! I am grateful for a Lord that
continues to grow me and walk me through hard seasons to show His faithfulness. I am
messy and broken but confident and funny, and I am about to lead a group of 37 strong
Jesus filled men and women. And the best part, I get to grow so much these 5 months
while I’m gone and grow when I come home to America. He never ceases to amaze me
and He will never let me go!
