I feel like God has used Chile to draw me out of myself so that I can actually be myself. Before I left for this journey, God had told me that He was going to use this entire trip to restore, revive, breathe life into lifeless places, return things stolen and remind me how to be a kid again. He had told me that a lot of the time the most joyful and childlike people are the ones who have been through the ringer, because how much more can you experience fullness of joy when you’ve first experienced so much pain. For the first few months I didn’t even remember that He had said that. The first few months I didn’t even see Him doing that. It wasn’t until a friend of mine had a vision for me of the opening scene of The Fox and the Hound. The fox is so carefree and full of life and the puppy is uncertain and full of worry and doesn’t have permission to enter into where the fox lives. The movie shows their friendship grow and as that happens the dog is able to step into those places because the fox leads him there. This friend of mine told me that she thought that the vision meant that God wants to teach me how to be a kid again. It was then that I remembered that He had told me the exact same thing months earlier. I’m the puppy learning how to step into the world with wonder, amazement, enjoyment and fun. I’m the dog learning how to be the fox.
I also remember God telling me that Chile was the place for me. He gave me such an excitement for the country before I even left or knew much about it. Being here, I know that it’s true. I’ve felt like everything about this place has been for me. I’ve had moments where I’ve felt more alive than I have in a really long time and it’s been so filling. There are parts of me that are learning how to walk again and breathe again. The kid in me is learning to come out in a way that I’ve been praying for.
If you know me at all you know that I have a slight obsession with dogs. Not only do I love them, but God also uses them to speak to me in a lot of ways. Chile is filled with dogs. Most of the dogs you see have no home yet belong to everyone. They’re everywhere and all they want is to be your friend.. which is great because the feeling is 100% mutual. They follow me around and jump up and put their paws on me shoulder and are usually taller than me which makes for the best hugs. There was one puppy who followed us around for a few hours, into the hardware store and out again, into the elevator and into the food court, where he fell asleep at my feet. A day later I was at the beach and the same puppy came running up to me, nowhere near the place where we first met. It’s stuff like this that probably seems silly to other people but for me it’s pretty much the best and makes me feel super loved.
Chile also has the best empanadas and they put avocado on everything. That’s all I have to say about that
Another thing that chile has also had a huge impact on is my love for taking pictures. Taking pictures has always been one of my passions and favorite things to do in the world. I can always tell how alive or myself I feel based on how much I do things that I love. My dream job has always been getting paid to travel and take pictures of the world. Taking pictures brings me so much joy and I just can’t get enough of it. With that being said, can we just talk about how amazingly beautiful Chile is? Sheesh y’all, I think it’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been to. There’s beaches and deserts and mountains and volcanoes and wild llamas and flamingos and foxes and chinchillas. There’s so many places to hike and so many places to camp and you can surf and swim and long board and walk everywhere. I can’t imagine a place more perfect for my heart. It makes me want to run around and jump and play and it makes me want to never leave.
Chile has cities with huge European influence and the metro and street art and parks and quirky people and it also has places with zero service and zero people for hundreds of kilometers where all you can see is desert.
I’ve fallen in love with the Spanish language and love speaking it and learning it and figuring it out. I don’t even know how to explain why I love the culture here so much, but I just do. I feel like God has given me eyes to really see the people here and I just think they are all so freaking beautiful. I just want to know them all and be friends with them all
It’s been really hard though because I’m not here to have fun and I’m not here to be able to do what I want. There’s been some super hard moments and days and we have a lot of hard work that we have to do as a team this month but UGH I just wish I could be set free and run amuck here. I feel like my heart belongs here in a way I haven’t really experienced to this extent from any other place. That enough gives me so much hope and excitement for life and I can’t wait to see what comes next. I’ve been tired of being heavy and worn down with overthinking and stuffing down and hardship and things stolen.
It’s cool because I’ve been praying for these moments. I’ve been praying for excitement and giddiness and more joy than I know what to do with. I’ve been praying that I could look at life and God through the eyes of a child with wonder that only a kid could have. It’s cool to be in a place where I can stand still and feel and see Him doing it. I want these moments to grow my trust because it’s these moments where I don’t really understand why I have such a hard time trusting such an amazing heart to begin with. There’s none better than His and nothing better than Him and it’s cool how these moments which bring me so much life and a place that feels like we were meant for each other results, not in solely that, but in more love and awe and reverence for Him who made it all.
