There comes a month on every Race where the men and the women are separated. The men call this month “Manistry” and they spend it trying to grow the biggest beards and having push-up competitions and “blaze through toilet paper like its [their] job” (read this blog). Meanwhile, the women have our own experience, which we have dubbed feministry.
Feministry is intended to be a wonderful month on the Race, but quite honestly, most women had some trepidation about it. We’ve all seen Mean Girls and we all went to middle school. We therefore have pretty low expectations for what always seems to happen when someone decides to put a bunch of women together: Insecurities flare up. Gossip spreads faster than lice. And people end up in segregated groups from which someone is always left out.
(at a Rwandan wedding reception)
Now, I have been on a co-ed team for the entire Race, and even though the amount of women on my team outnumbers the men two-to-one, I have still always known what it’s like to live and serve with men around. And it really does change a team’s dynamic. Ministry roles, dinnertime conversations, and off-day activities are all affected by the presence of both male and female opinions. But quite honestly, I have really enjoyed being on a co-ed team. And yet, despite how much I love our guys, and regardless of all the less-than-hopeful expectations that others seemed to have, I was pretty optimistic and hopeful for Feministry.
You see, there are things that can’t really be unlocked or tapped into in mixed company. There are certain depths which cannot be explored in a co-ed conversation. There are subjects and secrets that are totally off-limits and out-of-bounds when someone of the opposite sex is nearby. And so, that’s the beauty of an all-girls month. There’s this new kind of unrestrained vulnerability that sews itself into an all-girls environment, and it gives birth to freedom and forgiveness and self-revelation.
Feministry for me has looked more like the last twenty minutes of Mean Girls, instead of the first hour – you know, the part where they’re in the gymnasium and everyone comes forward to confess some long-smothered insecurity or other secret, and in the end everyone is crying and laughing with a new sense of liberty and confidence and Gretchen Weiners still can’t believe what’s happening. That’s sort of how it’s been in this house this month.
All fifteen of us have dinner every night, sprawled on couches and chairs all across a small living room. After eating, some of us go play cards or do P-90X or watch chick flicks (there’s very little debate about what kind of movie to watch with no guys around). At night the women of Team TAE sit in our room and talk about everything from our post-Race hopes and dreams, to the unwritten rules of Facebook flirting. Every Saturday we have “family night”, which usually involves some kind of sort of cheesy but still entertaining game about which we all become a bit too competitive. And it’s not uncommon to find an anonymously written encouraging note on your pillow or tucked into your Bible.
(awkward African Longhorn picture)
I mean, Feministry doesn’t exactly involve sitting in an old gymnasium, sobbing about broken hearts and deep-rooted insecurities. But I think it’s the simplicity of just living with fifteen, God-fearing, Bible-believing, Jesus-loving women that makes all the difference. When you’re around these kinds of women, it doesn’t matter if you’re playing cards or reading Harry Potter together or eating (yet another) meal of rice and potatoes. As long as you’re doing it together, then some kind of sisterhood is emerges, and it’s the kind of sisterhood that strives for what is good and honorable and lovely.
It’s the kind of sisterhood that stays up late playing cards and sipping coffee because spending time together is better than extra sleep. It’s the kind of sisterhood that doesn’t allow you to say mean things about yourself or others. It’s the kind of sisterhood that wears lipstick and long socks to play in a soccer game just because we can.
This is the Sisterhood of the Traveling Ankle-Length Skirts.
“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other…”
–Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
