Throughout college and even up until 2 weeks ago, I had always been amazed with the fact that I could fit all of my life's possessions into my tiny little Chevy Cavalier while still being able to see out of the rearview mirror while driving to wherever I was moving to.
Today, I am amazed with the fact that all of my life's possessions for the next year have fit into a camping backpack, two smaller bags, and a guitar case.
What's even more amazing to me is the fact that if you came over to my dad's house and walked up to my room, you wouldn't even be able to tell that I was gone. My closet and drawers are still full. My car keys are on the dresser. My pillows are on the bed… and my bed isn't even made up nicely. My fan is still plugged in. My floor needs to be vacuumed. My pictures are on the wall. And my favorite books are on the shelf.
.
.
.
Packing for the World Race has been one of the most humbling things I have ever experienced. I have packed, unpacked, and packed again numerous times over the past few days, trying to make sure I have everything I need while also trying to make sure I don't have too much. And in all honestly, I probably still have too much now that the task has been completed.
The thing that humbled me the most about all of this was being confronted with my selfishness. I tried to pack all of my American comforts with me. All of my favorite books, favorite shirts, favorite hoodies, favorite sweatpants… only to have to unpack them again because I realized I didn't need them. I found myself staring at my closet for far too long and debating whether I should bring plain shirts that I don't really care about or shirts that "define me". I found myself missing the things I have willingly given away over the past few weeks. My clothes. My books. My Christmas lights. My bike… and possiby even my car. I found myself holding onto things.
I think it was last night or the night before that this really hit me. I began to think about Jesus' disciples and how they literally had nothing but each other and God. Jesus called them to drop all of their things and follow Him, and they did. They didn't run back to their homes and debate whether they should bring their favorite shirt with flowers on it or not (thankfully, because that's not a very manly thing to debate about). They didn't go out and buy a new pair of running shoes for their new life or make sure they had enough deodorant to get them through the next few months at least. They didn't even have a camping backpack! Though, maybe they would have liked to have done/had such things… The fact of the matter is. Jesus called them, and they went… sometimes without even saying goodbye to their families. How extremely honorable.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm wrong in wanting to have comfortable clothes with me or a pair of running shoes that will last me through the year of 2013. I'm not saying it's wrong to bring games and books along that I love and feel that I and my team could benefit from. I'm not saying it's wrong to have a fancy pants sleeping bag and camping backpack. In fact, I think God wants me to enjoy these things… as long as my motives are right. As long as I'm not holding onto them for my comfort or my identity. As long as I'm keeping Him first in the process, I believe these things are great.
So, I suppose it's all just a matter of checking my motives. Asking if I'm allowing things to define me or if I'm resting in God's grace and allowing that to define me above anything else.
I expect to learn more about this as the year goes by, but am excited that the lesson has already begun!
Here I go! Off to DC!
