Read this blog second, first read, Reckless Abandonment
In the surrender…
In realizing that I needed to surrender so many things last month, one of the biggest ways in trying to make sense of everything in life and have answers for it all, God taught me so much when I finally did surrender…
In the abandonment of anything and everything from small to large things, I learned to trust God more then I ever have. I learned what it means to jump into something, walk through something, not run away, and stick with something where its not easy with smiles at every corner but there is a real pain and real truth that sometimes breaks your heart. I learned in letting go of people and of things and trusting God with them it can be one of the hardest things in life but I finally learned how to trust God with the most valuable people in my life, my family. And I think they learned that too J
I learned that without the pain and hard things in life you may not appreciate the
joy and abundance the Lord has for your next season in your life. I learned that when my mouth could no longer utter praise songs as I was singing in my room because the tears were now coming down too hard, the
spirit inside me continued to sing. I learned that God can get the glory through any and all circumstances. I learned that listening to God, jumping in faith into what he is calling you too even when your emotions or knowledge tell you another thing that He knows best and will bring you into a place you would never imagine. When I fully surrendered everything to Him he then covered me in the greatest peace through all the many unknowns and not bringing back into my life the thing I missed or found security in. It was like a huge blanket just came over me and covered me entirely. My worries and fears of the moment and what would happen next went away, and my trust in God’s faithfulness has never been so strong.
I learned that I don’t need all the answers of tomorrow to act in God’s spirit and walk in the way he is moving today.
That he can take brokenness and turn it into beauty, ashes into beauty, he had me look closer into my identity and where I find my beauty, taught me how to love with patience and kindness, what love and true friendship looks like through the other support raised volunteers who kindly took us in, what it means to lift brothers and sisters up in Christ when they are falling apart, a boldness and a strength seen in women in the middle of C**** who have left their security and homes because they have been called to the forgotten ones in C****, how to apologize, to lay down your pride, that no matter what happens to still believe in his promises and to not let the devil speak anything against those, about having no security in anything but God, about where my hope comes from, the joy in children who have nothing, lay down what I don’t understand, that not every time he starts something it means he will finish it the way we planned it to go, that life isn’t easy, life is painful a lot of the time, but its in these hard times we learn not to take the times of smiles for granted, you will miss needing to let go of everything and come to the cross, he taught me brokenness and the true beauty of feeling like everything is coming unglued because guess who then gathers all the pieces of your heart and carefully puts them back together in a way with the glue of Jesus that is much stronger then the heart you once had, taught me how to trust him more, I learned God SO faithful God, that he cares so much when you are hurting and he wraps you in his arms so tenderly and lovingly around you as he does with all his children, lessons and molding don’t always come in neat little perfect packages, there is peace when you let everything fall to the ground, how to rest, about good friends, a ton about humility through my teammates, about selfless love through the people of this organization through the way they serve these kids, God is faithful always even if we are not in every circumstance, he works all things to the good, how to hear from the spirit minute to minute needing God with every breath, and that His peace transcends all understanding.
One of the greatest lessons I learned I have kind of titled, “Are we the ones missing it?’
Through two boys with Down syndrome that I hung out with a ton during the month I learned some of the greatest lessons from and love them dearly. Through their joy I was really convicted with, one day when we get to heaven will we realize that we were the ones missing it here on earth? I felt pity on them because they didn’t have the best clothes, the greatest living conditions, wont grow up to have a wife or children, wont grow up and make their own money one day…so we look at them and we feel sorry for them and all the things we have that they are missing out on. Yet one day God said “be weary in your blanket statement because those two boys in many ways have things more figured out then you may ever”. Ouch God…what does that mean?
It means these boys LOVE, they love hard, they are excited every time they see you, they don’t tire in doing the same things over and over again, they are not insatiable like so many of us in life, they have a joy in them that you can’t explain, they keep no records of wrongs, they are kind, they are patient, they don’t boast about what they can do, they are not rude, they are the ones sitting next to the child who rocks himself in the corner all day long and they go over to him and rub his head and when we go for a walk they insist on bringing him too and holding his hand as we walk around the same circle over and over again and they think it’s the best thing because we are outside with good friends and life is good J Every day comforting the one in the corner, the one who doesn’t speak, the one most of us would get tired of being around or overwhelmed by, they had no problem humbling themselves to be with this one little one not in the spotlight to love on someone else in need.
These two boys showed me Jesus. At the end of the day neither of them will ever drive a car or own their own house…they may not have the gift of tongues or prophecy, they may not have all knowledge or understanding of all things in life, they may not have a faith that looks like yours or mine because they have never read a bible…but they have learned the greatest thing of all, they have learned what it means to love. Which reminds me of what I learned about in the Philippines…if you don’t have love you have nothing.You can have all this world has to offer. You can have the nice shinny car, the huge house, the boat and jet skis, all the money to spend on anything and everything you want, all the women or men in the world, you can study book after book and gain much knowledge, you can have many gifts, you can be great at your job, you can run a company, you can vacation for months out of the year in all the amazing places in the world, have all the food you could ever want, the nicest things this life has to offer you, you can be married, you can have children, you can have it all…but if you don’t have love, true love…love for God and know his love in return and love for your brothers and sisters, then you have nothing. And one day realize like Solomon you will find that it was all meaningless. I don’t want to miss it, I don’t want to one day be in Heaven looking down realizing I loved so many things in this world and missed it the most important love of all.
Read Corinthians 13:1-8 and love. Love God. Love People.
