Young Life Banquet — I sat next to Manning tonight (my Dad’s boss). I have seen this man throughout my life. He went to the same church as my family when I was younger, he has many kids one of whom is my age, and he shows up at my parent’s functions at times.
I didn’t know what to expect from this banquet. I was a little ambivalent about being there and didn’t feel like being overly social. But this is what I happened:
Manning chose to sit next to me and here’s what he asked. How much money do you have to raise? How much money do you have? What are you doing? (simple enough questions) Then he asks, “What is the biggest struggle for a single woman?” Is he asking for mine, or all women? Should I answer him truthfully and be vulnerable? Can I think of a good answer that I am committed to in about 3 seconds?
Then he asks, “What is the most important question to ask a man you want to marry? What’s the most important question for a man to ask his wife? Do you think marriage is easy? What is the hardest thing about being a wife? Why does God in Genesis 3 say ‘And I will put enmity between you and the woman.’”
Wow, I didn’t realize I was going to have such a deep discussion at this banquet. I actually was very eager to hear what he had to say about all these questions. We discussed marriage for about an hour and I left with many things to chew on. During the conversation I thought, this is a conversation I am going to think back on many times over the next few years.
My thoughts:
I think the biggest struggle for single women is insecurity. I think as women we constantly compare ourselves to others. We look at the next step in life (marriage) and think there is something wrong with us if we are not dating or headed to marriage. I think the most important thing to ask a man is, “How is your walk with the Lord. Are you striving to become the man God intends you to be? Are you seeking after God with all of heart or is Christian just a nametag you wear throughout the year?” I think marriage is hard and many people enter it ill prepared. I think that when you get married you trade in old struggles for new ones. I think the hardest thing for a woman is to submit to their husbands. While submission looks slightly different depending on what church you attend, it is very hard for an independent person such as myself. I believe that God called us to submit to our husbands. As for Genesis 3, I have no idea what enmity means (I’m a math teacher for goodness sakes). I have no idea why God put hatred between Satan and us.
His thoughts:
The most important thing for a woman to consider about the man she may want to marry is his ability to forgive. Can a man willingly ask for forgiveness over and over when he does wrong? Can a man give forgiveness day after day? Forgiveness is what a marriage is built on. [As someone who has not liked the word forgiveness in the past that is definitely a skill I need to learn. I have always felt that asking for forgiveness is admitting I was wrong and I hate to do that.] When getting married, a man needs to ask himself, “Can I honor my bride?” (1 Peter 3:7) A woman needs to ask herself, “Can I submit to my husband?” (Titus 2) The best thing for a single person is to spend time with married people. Learn from those around them and study the characteristics of a good marriage.
I think marriage is a very interesting topic that many young people don’t know much about. I for many years have not felt ready for marriage and have not wanted to rush into any dating situations. But God is slowly beginning to work on my heart and teach me about marriage. He will prepare my heart for the day I meet a man worthy of marriage. I look forward to the journey I have in front of me. 🙂
