Part 3 of my story with missions. To recap read (Where it all began) and (East Asia).
After going to China with YWAM I would have loved to go on staff. However, previous commitments brought me back to teaching. I decided to be thankful for the two years of teaching that I was committed to before I could go on another adventure. I decided to see these two years, as years to grow and prepare for what God would bring next. So I started teaching in August 2011. I struggled to process through China and apply my YWAM teaching to the real world. After 4 months of teaching, I felt claustrophobic. I felt like I had squandered all I had learned and I was dying to get away from the cookie cutter life I was living. I needed to find something to look forward to, something that would give me freedom knowing that the monotony of life would eventually come to an end. I can’t explain how I felt but I didn’t want to feel stuck. At that moment, my friend told me about the World Race. I was able to exhale. I was able to look forward to something. I knew that the two years would end and I would have a year off to go do missions again. I love being on mission trips. I love the freedom to spend the day doing ministry not having to worry about work.
July 2012, I signed up to go to Paris with YWAM. I really signed up to spend two weeks with a great friend I had made through YWAM who I hadn’t seen in a year and to go to Paris. I didn’t really know what to expect or think about what I would get out of my time in France. I didn’t feel “spiritually ready” to go on the trip and felt a bit guilty that I hadn’t prepared myself. But God met me anyways. While in France I thought about my next step. What was I going to do after my two year commitment to teaching? I thought through the World Race and joining YWAM staff. My thought was that I could do YWAM staff to get myself ready for the Race. I thought that if I joined staff I would be poured into spiritually and be prepared to go on the Race. I didn’t feel like I would be ready after a year of teaching. So I looked into joining staff in Australia.
While in France, I made some really great friends. I spent many hours sharing life and talking through the future. I tried to process YWAM staff verses the Race. I felt like whatever I did before the Race would just be delaying the Race. Going on the Race is something that I had processed through for 7 months at this point. I can compare my thought process to a scene in Transformers. There is a point where Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox are standing next to the bubble bee car. The car’s door is open and Shia LaBeouf says something along the lines of, “If we don’t get in the car, won’t we always look back and wonder, what if we got in the car?” If I don’t go on the Race, I feel like I would always look back and wonder “What if?”
After many hours of talking through the Race with Lianne she said, “Do what scares you most.” I will never forget those words. “Do what scares you.” Well if we are talking about what scares me, for sure it’s the Race. I was trying to find an alternative to the Race because I was scared. Joining YWAM staff in the comforts of Australia was the easy choice. I was scared of the Race. I really wanted to go but ultimately I would only be able to choose the Race if God took away my fears. So I prayed to God, I spoke out all of my fears and released them to God. I don’t even remember all the reasons I gave now. Fear of hunger, fear of packing one bag for a year, fear of fund raising, fear of sickness, fear of all sorts of things…
That night God took away all of my fears. I went to bed and when I woke up I knew the Race is where I was supposed to be. I woke up and couldn’t even remember my fears. I felt peace and excitement to apply to the Race. I returned home from France knowing that I would apply for the 2013 Race. God put it on my heart to go on September 2013 Route 1. China was calling my name. I am so excited for most of the countries but the one that puts the biggest smile on my face is China. I will be very excited to return to China. It will feel like home. Pretty crazy to think that in 7 months I will be packing up for this life changing experience. Looking forward to see what God has in store for me along the way.
