So I’ve been dragging my feet lately. I have not blogged because I was waiting for the perfect topic to fall into my lap. I don’t have anything really poetic or inspiring to say. However, I can share what my life has looked like lately and hope this blog helps me process my last few weeks. So here I go…
School is back in session. These past 2 weeks have been rough. The days have felt very long and I have not had a lot of patience with my students. January is always a hard month in school. The students come back from the holidays with lots of energy. Some of the boys have decided they are too cool for school. The noise level begins to rise and my patience runs short. I have had “the talk” with my students this week about what it means to be a student. I have reminded them that the year is only half way over and the finish line is still far away. I have tried to reason with them. I’ve tried to explain my point of view. I think some of them understand, but reasoning with an eleven year old is a bit hard.
Some of my friends have suggested to pray over my classroom. I have always pushed this idea aside not giving it much thought. Nevertheless, on Thursday I had decided to change my thinking. I realized that complaining about my classes isn’t helping me. Showing up each day expecting a fight when I ask students to work isn’t good. I need to change my perspective. So on Thursday I prayed as I walked around my classroom. I prayed for patience and prayed that as the students sit in their desks they are filled with focus and desire to learn. I believed in what I was saying but didn’t necessarily think it would work. As the students entered, they were quiet. (Wow that was a first!) I told them that we were moving onto a new topic and three girls said “I love that topic; it’s my favorite.” I thought, “O my gosh. Is today going to be a good day?” At the end of the day I walked into my coworkers room and told her about my prayer and how the day didn’t feel like a battle. My prayer really worked. Thursday was a wonderful day. I left work with energy instead of feeling defeated. It’s amazing that prayer really does make a difference.
Next Topic:
This week in bible study we have been processing life. We talked through Sunday’s sermon about a deceitful heart (Jeremiah 17). We discussed what Jeremiah meant by, “we have a deceitful heart.” I’ll give an example to explain myself. I have recently been convicted when I lie. (I know a 25 year old shouldn’t still be lying, but I do sometimes.) I lie when I feel I need to justify my actions. For example, walking into my cousins basketball game last week there was a sign on the door that said “No Coffee in the gym.” Now this sign surely doesn’t mean I need to gulp down my $5 starbucks coffee. I just got it and the rules don’t always apply to me. I’ll pretend I didn’t see it. So I walk into the gym, drink my coffee and think nothing of it. At the end of the game the manager of the gym walks over to me and asks, “Is that your coffee?” Instead of saying, “Yes I’m sorry I shouldn’t have brought it in.” I say, “Yes, but it’s empty I couldn’t find a trash can.” Now why did I feel the need to lie? What would he have done if I gave the first response? Probably nothing, just asked me to not bring it in next time. I think I lied because I was trying to save face. My pride needs to be protected so I lie. So back to what I was saying before about a deceitful heart; I think a deceitful heart is when you justify your actions or excuse your actions because they really didn’t hurt anyone so it’s okay. I mean lying about my coffee isn’t that bad, it’s not like I hurt someone by lying, right? Well I’ve been processing through this lately and I feel really convicted. How many times have I come up with “excuses” not to do something and convinced myself that it’s okay? I think everyone does this. But why? What is it that is driving me to lie? What do I gain from lying? Hmm food for thought.
I hope this blog helps you in some way. It’s good to get my thoughts out. Can anyone relate?
