I started reading a book called “Kisses for Katie.” It tells the story of a 19 year old girl who traveled to Uganda after high school. She now lives in a remote village where she cares for hundreds of young children everyday.
As I read this book, I find myself agreeing with many of the things Katie writes. I love the way she expresses her passion and love for the Ugandan children. She writes, “I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person. And if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute. In fact, it is worth spending my life for.”
When I was younger, I always wanted to become a teacher. I loved to play school with my siblings and help my classmates. I take joy in helping others understand unfamiliar concepts. In college, I got a bit discouraged. I wasn’t sure if all my schooling and hard work was worth becoming a teacher. I feared I wouldn’t become a good teacher. But I reassured myself that even bad teachers have jobs, so I need not worry. I reevaluated why I wanted to become a teacher. But, in the end I concluded, I want to become a teacher to change the life of one kid. If I make a difference to one child then my teaching is worth it. I don’t need to be liked by all my students. I don’t need to make all my students love math or school. But I need to be there for the one child that I will make a difference too. I go to work each day for the one child that is delighted to see me and comes back year after year because I made they feel like they mattered. I get up each morning for the one child who decides to become a teacher because of me. My outlook sounds a lot like Katie’s. I will not change the world, but I may change the world for one child. I became a teacher for the one life that will be changed by what I do.
It will be very hard for me to leave teaching. After my first year of teaching ended, I called my Mom crying. I was crying because I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to give up on my students. I wanted to stay and see them grow up. I want to see them succeed and mature into adults. Now, that would take quite a long time of staying (my students are only 11 years old). One year will not change my connection to them and doesn’t mean I won’t come back. But on the phone that day I felt like I was abandoning my students. I felt like I was choosing, the Race over teaching. I felt like I was walking away from something amazing. My Mom helped me realize that the Race is only one chapter in my life. My students will grow up and continue to succeed and I can watch it from wherever God leads me. I will never be their math teacher again, but I will always be their teacher. It is very hard to leave something that is good. It is hard to give up something that I’ve wanted to do my entire life. It is hard to leave something that I love. But God is calling me to the Race. The tug into missions is stronger than any other desire.
I compared my choice of joining the Race to that of getting married. (Now this opinion is not based on fact just based on what I hear from others.) People can be very content and happy before they are married. They could have a wonderful life, job, family, and group of friends. They would never categorize themselves as “unhappy”. They love life and couldn’t ask for anything more. Then they meet Mr. Right. After dating for a year they think, how could I live another day without Mr. Right. I didn’t know what true happiness was until I met Mr. Right. I was happy before and content but didn’t realize the next level of happiness. I didn’t realize things could get better.
This is how I feel. I am fully content with teaching. I love my job, my family, and my life. I could continue teaching in Loudoun and live a very wonderful life here. But, I reach a whole new level of excitement when I think about missions. My heart starts beating faster and I can’t help but grin. I reach a whole new level of happiness at the thought of going on the Race. I could ignore those feelings and be very content here in Virginia. But I am choosing to lay down my job, to lay down my comforts, and lay down my income for the chance at something more. I lay it all down to discover what God has in store for me overseas. I desire to find exactly where God is calling me to be. If it leads me back to VA and teaching, so be it. But if it leads me to a life overseas I will be ready. I once heard, “The greatest job in life is found where you are in the center of God’s will.” So here I go, searching and ready to follow Him, into my most joyful life. I am so excited to find out where that will be.
