I’ve been back from training camp for 10 days now and I am still not quite sure how to wrap my brain around all that I experienced.
When people have asked me “how was training camp?” my first response is to explain the physical aspect of it all, so I guess I’ll do that here too.
For those of you who don’t know me as well, let me set the stage of my past wilderness experiences.
- Prior to training camp I have slept in a tent only while in Haiti and one time before that when I barfed up Oreos all over my parents.
- I slept in my own tent 1 and a half nights prior to training camp.
- I tried to pee outside once but it was an epic fail and I’m pretty sure I cried (I was 9 okay????).
- Hiking? Sure, to Palo Duro Canyon once a year
So, as you can see I have very little (if any) experience in being a wilderness/camping/mountain woman expert. BUT GOD who is rich in love and abounding in grace allowed me to be stretched in all areas.
As world racers we did crazy things like:
- Meet 40+ strangers for the first time
- Become friends with 40+ strangers
- Become FAMILY with 40+ friends who used to be strangers
- Slept in our own tents
- Doubled up and slept in each other’s tents
- Slept in an airport
- Slept in community tents
- Slept on a tarp under the stars
- Survived two downpours of rain
- Peed and pooped outside!
- Peed and pooped until we filled up all the porta-potties to the tippy top (three times!! It almost touched me!!!)
- Used lots of germ-ex and baby wipes
- Ate with our hands
- Ate weird things that tasted really good
- Ate normal things that tasted really good
- Bargained for food in a crazy market
- Sweated more than I have ever sweated in my life
- Hiked 3 miles in 50 minutes with 40 lbs of extra weight
- Carried each other up and down hills
- Took showers using a bucket and a cup
- Won 2 dance offs lol
- Won squad wars (WHEN IN DOUBT, PINKIES OUT)
- Lived with little to no technology
- Met the teams we will do ministry/life with for the next months
- Redefined the definition of “clean”
- Redefined the definition of “comfortable”
- And probably a lot more that I don’t remember
All of this was done in 90+ degree weather, 85% humidity, in the rolling Appalachian hills of Georgia.
And ya’ll I have never felt more hardcore in my whole life, by the end of the week I practically felt like Bear Grylls. All of this to say that my idea of comfortable and the limits I tried to put on myself were shattered and squished and demolished. Praise God!
Okay, so now is when words get really hard because usually when I am done explaining the physicality of training camp people usually run out of questions or the topic gets changed or I am vague on the spiritual aspect because I cannot put words together that adequately describe the glory that I experienced. But I will try…
Going into training camp I was an anxious hot mess, I was being fed lies that were straight from Satan, I was walking with a spirit of inadequacy, and I was waiting for someone to point at me and say “you are not meant for this, what are you even doing here?” But God tenderly asked me to remember Galatians 2:20. I told him “God, I don’t know what that says off of the top of my head.” And I could literally hear God reply with a smile on his lips “I know, my daughter, but read it and remember.”
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God. Who loved me and gave himself for me.
Man ya’ll this is some gooOOOooooOOOd stuff. Throughout the week God broke this verse down in several different ways and each time it was like drinking from the most refreshing waters.
I have been crucified – Past tense. Stop walking around like an invalid and walk as a son and daughter of the most high king because that is who you are, not because of anything you have done, but because of who God is.
…with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. – The Spirit of God is alive and inside of me. The perfection of Christ is my reflection and my identity. My flesh is dead, it died with Christ and it did not raise as Christ did. Instead, my new-self rose and my new-self is rooted in the Son of God. The Lord sees me as he sees his son, perfect, blameless, righteous, holy, and pure.
The life I now live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God. – This earthly life, however long mine will be, is completely about my Father and my Father’s business. The next 60ish years (Lord willing) are going to be lived by faith that is not in myself, not in my circumstances, not in my finances, not in my loved ones, but by faith in the Son of God. I am putting all of my eggs in one basket. I am trusting with all that I have that Jesus Christ is who he says he is. So this means that if he says “step to the left” I will go left. If he says “go on the world race” I will go on the world race. If he says “stop trying to be so strong” then with tears in my eyes I will rejoice in my weakness and I will let him be strong for me.
Who loved me and gave himself for me – The Son of God, my Savior, who is the very Jesus died for my sins because of his overwhelmingly incomprehensible love for my fickle heart. He died and took on the wrath of God knowing full well all of the times I would turn my back on him, all of the times the Gospel would be forgotten inside of my mind and my heart, all of the times my self-sufficiency would rise up like a concrete wall. He still gave himself for me. Gave. Sacrificed. Gifted. Offered. Himself. For me. For you. For all of us. Wow.
At some point in training camp (I think it was day 3 or 4) I could feel my anxieties leaving me and instead the Father was singing life and encouragement into my heart and he used this verse as the lyrics. I was able to walk in the freedom that had been waiting for me all this time and in this freedom I heard God speak to me more in those 10 days than I’ve heard him speak in the past 2 months. He talked to me about how near he is to each of us, how his kingdom is coming, he reminded me that he is a good father (not because we call him good or sing a song about it but because that is who his character truly is. He gave “good” a definition long before we did way back in the beginning of creation).
Training camp was crazy. Life is crazy. God is crazy. I am crazy.
If you would like to talk to me more about training camp, or really anything please don’t hesitate to give me a holler via facebook, call, or text (I did get a new cell number a few months ago, so holler if you need that too!).
Lastly, I am sending a million thank yous to the people I love (THAT’S YOU!!!) Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for investing in eternal things with me. Thank you for praying for me and with me. Thank you for supporting me financially. Thank you for trusting me to be a vessel that carries the Gospel. Thank you for supporting emotionally. Thank you for crying with me, laughing with me, and talking with me about this craziness. Thank you thank you thank you.
All the love,
Emily
“For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!
Galatians 2:19-21
