Hello all of you beautiful people. I do apologize I haven’t written a post in a while…I have been really busy with work and also have been going through a little bit of personal stuff. Spiritual warfare to be exact, mainly with going on the World Race. Yesterday something happened to me that I think perfectly explains how I have been feeling the past couple of weeks.
So yesterday, I was going on my daily walk to prepare for my 3 mile walk for training camp, and I was walking back to leave when all of a sudden I trip and face-plant (yes super graceful, I know). I remember just laying on my stomach, the wind knocked out of me, feeling everything come at once, all of the scratches, everything, and I just laid there. I probably only laid there for 15 seconds, but it felt like minutes. I finally got the strength to get up. I look around and see no one saw me fall. You could say I was very relieved.
Looking back on that, I totally see this event that happened to me is what is happening to me right now in the present. Yes physically, I tripped over a root/part of the ground (maybe even my own feet, very possible I am VERY clumsy), but spiritually/emotionally I have been tripped up right now. I am feeling more anxious, fearful, and ultimately doubting that I should be even doing this. I am slowly seeing discouragement creep in. And me looking around to see if anyone saw me fall on my walk, that is a reflection of the pride I have in my heart. I don’t like falling, and I especially don’t like others seeing me fall. The thing is, I have had a lot of people along the way say things along the lines of that I am very strong, inspiring, that they are proud of me, etc., but I honestly have no idea why they say those types of things to me. I FALL EVERYDAY. I am always tripping up on my own feet, falling flat on my face.
God reminded me of that yesterday. He humbled me a lot in this moment. However, I also realized something else through this. Yes I hate falling, it sucks to feel these things. But guess what, we are picked up by God Himself, giving us His strength to get up. I 100% can say I would rather fall, trip up and fall on God ultimately relying on Him, than to never fall and only be relying on myself. The plan I have for myself, my best, is nothing compared to the one He has for me. One could wallow in the fall, dwell on it, be scared of it and get into a place of self-pity, or they could look at it as a blessing. A blessing to know that despite the fall, God is right there to pick us right up. God is using our fall to strengthen us, to teach us something. Yes in the moment it might be very unpleasant, and might be painful but God doesn’t waste a fall. He uses each and every slip up we have, and creates something amazing out of it that we couldn’t even fathom.
This part is for my friends, family, etc.: just because you stumble or fall, it doesn’t mean it’s over. For every fall, there is the moment where you pick yourself back up. However, it is up to you to get up and how you perceive your fall. God works in mysterious ways, and every fall you experience is just another obstacle you have to overcome with God, and ultimately something to strengthen you for what He has in store for you.
This last part is to my fellow squad mates: everything we are feeling is normal. Every anxiety, fear, doubt, etc., it’s a bunch of lies. What we are doing is something so amazing and good, and the devil does not like this. He will try everything he can to discourage us. I believe the fact we are feeling these things is a good thing. It is THROUGH this we will push through, having God with us, fighting for us. No matter how bad the fall is for us, He will always be there, reaching out His hand to pick us up. Press forward and seek Him despite the confusion, the blindness we have to what will happen, the point of darkness to where you can only see where to take your next step. He is right in front of us, beside us, and behind us, and will come to our aid. There is never a battle we can’t fight, because He is fighting with us.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” -Romans 8:31
**I close with this: Please be praying for me and my squad. We need the prayers right now.**
