As I lay here wrapped in my down comforter, drinking a cup of coffee it hit me, 14 days… yes I said it 14 days, where has the time gone? I remember when I was counting down months, then weeks now its days. With the hustle of the Holidays It seems as if time is just slipping through my fingers!
Every time I talk to someone I always get the same questions or the same response “are you ready?” “you are so lucky” “this will be a trip of a lifetime” all I want to do is scream and explain how I am no different than them, I have a past full of regrets and mistakes, I think people somehow think I am special or doing something extraordinary by leaving for a 11 months and traveling to 11 different countries, the only difference is I gave up my life to whatever god had in store for me and when he said GO I said YES. There are so many people that are far more qualified than me that deserve this trip, or more prepared than I am….. Some days I wake up searching for emotions that I so desperately want to feel. I want to be sad, or excited, or nervous and in the time I have spent searching to feel all of what I “should” be feeling I looked over that what I was feeling was PEACE. I am at complete peace, I know this is the calling god has on my life for this next season and as time runs out here I know that I am ready, I am ready for god to wreck me, for god to romance me, for god to bend and break me. I am ready for god to take me on a journey I know I can NEVER prepare myself for.
