Lets just be honest… the struggle is real!!!
At the end of training camp I was told so many times “stay present when your home, the time will fly by” I was so sure that I would come home to enjoy everything about actually being back home my family, friends and enjoying my last 2 months at work I was not even kind of prepared for the struggle that was so close.
Everyone always says when the devil is at play in your life then you must be doing something right, well I had begun to doubt that statement I felt as if I couldn’t catch a break… little did I realize I was making my own struggle! You can NOT be in two places at once. See preparing for this trip was all fun and games I was leaving to spread the word to 11 different countries for 11 months how much cooler does it get at 22?? If you ask me it was the trip of a life time well that “trip of a lifetime” seemed to be taking the life out of me OR was I taking the life out of the trip???
Fundraising, packing, holidays, goodbyes, closed doors, things I wanted fixed and guess what it wasn’t happening!!!!!!! it wasn’t going the way I expected my last 2 months home to go. I think a lot of times in life we mess up so many perfect things with out own unrealistic expectations of the way things should be or how we think they should go. It took some hard knocks and big scares to really makes me see all this preparation wasn’t taking the life out of me I was taking the life out of the trip. My focus had gone from Jesus will provide to God why aren’t you letting this happen? why isn’t it happening fast enough? you see my trust had gone from Jesus to people. It took death staring me in the face to realize life happens so fast, moments come and go, good days don’t last forever and neither do the bad. This trip was in fact the trip of a life time but that would all depend where I put my trust and attitude…
Gratitude can guard your attitude…. IT wasn’t until I stopped and THANKED god for the amazing opportunity and the calling o my heart to serve him, and thanked him for the generosity he put in strangers heart to make this a reality and the supportive parents and family he gave me who sacrifice for me and it wasn’t until I stopped and became STILL that I understood this trip is without a doubt a trip of a lifetime, but an 11 month mission trip or 11 months at your work place your attitude in the moment can determine so much of the outcome. I would be lying if I told you all this preparation is easy it is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It is completely out of my comfort zone having to be patient, depend on others, ask for handouts that just is not me but it is in the seasons of being uncomfortable that we have the most growth its those moments that we don’t quite understand exactly what’s going on around us that we become stronger and wise.
It wasn’t until I truly trusted and surrendered my plans the way I thought it should be and how I thought it should go when I was reminded that I serve a PERFECT god and he only gives us what is good and if he hasn’t given you something your waiting on let it go because that means it isn’t good and maybe it just isn’t the season to be yours, God may not always be on our time but trust me he’s NEVER late!!!!
So I challenge you as I challenge myself do not allow the enemy to make you feel like anything is taking the life out of you, yet make it YOUR TRIP OF A LIFETIME 🙂
<3 em
