“So you’re not really going to build relationships are you.”
I remember those words as of they were spoken yesterday. I was standing in the pop isle of my almost local supermarket, dressed in my very dirty Dr. Pepper work uniform trying to keep product on the shelves during a Super Saturday sale. The words had come from the mouth of my old school principle, his first reaction after I told him about the race.
At the time the words cut me to the bone. Here was someone who I had grown up respecting; in fact it was he and my other teachers who invested countless hours into my Biblical education, telling me that meaningful relationships cannot be built in a single month. I my heart I knew that his words were false, that God doesn’t operate within the boundaries of time, that in many of stories in the New Testament it only took one encounter for Jesus to completely transform someone’s life. I knew also from experience that deep meaningful relationships can be formed in a matter of moments. I knew it was possible but for my first few months on the Race; aside from ties to my team, those relationships were almost non-existent.
It wasn’t until I was sitting on a hotel room floor staring blankly into space, exhausted and shattered that my old teacher’s words returned to me. I had spent the last three days at an orphanage in Cambodia thinking I had a month to spend with the kids, until the floor was ripped out from underneath us. As I sat there on the cold tile floor running through the images of the last eight hours I suddenly remembered his words, and then saw the truth.
The images that had been running through my mind were of police, FBI agents, reporters, terrified children, and lots of tear stained faces. I was broken, completely and utterly broken. I sat for hours completely consumed in the pain, loss, and fear. The past held nothing but pain and unanswered questions; the future, nothing but fear and doubt. Where was God in this? But through it all, over and over again my heart could focus on only one thing; the kids.
But that didn’t make any sense. I had only spent two days with them before the chaos, I couldn’t even place all of their names with the correct person. It didn’t make sense that I could be so invested in their future in such a short time, that I would spend hours in prayer for them and not myself. It didn’t make sense but the truth was right before my eyes; I love them, and not the weak human kind. This love is different, it defies reason and the limits of time, it is stronger than the power of evil and larger than all of the miles of separation. A supernatural love, something that can only have come from the author of love, God.
Five days after the separation I was standing outside of a government orphanage in Phnom Penh shaking like a leaf. All of the hours of pain, nightmares, and prayer had led to this point. We were leaving for Thailand at 5:00 the next morning so these would be the last precious hours we would get to spend with the kids. We had spent the last 5 days trying to find our way back to them, begging God to let us see them one last time; on the eve of our departure he had answered our prayer.
All I can remember is seeing the joy on their faces and feeling the tears fall down mine. I walked up to my boy, my little five year old Rock. I picked him up and rocked him back and forth as he sobbed onto my shoulder. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, or how long I spent playing with him and Young in the dirt after that, time had no meaning; all that mattered was that we were together.
I prayed over them as we played, and when I walked out the front gate I gave them to God. He had allowed me to love them in their time of need, as their world was falling apart my team and I were privileged to shower them in the love of Jesus. But our time was up, our part had been played and it was time to give them to the only one who can take care of them, and trust that he will provide.
Love, true love that come from the Father has no time limit. It defies reason and crosses all boarders of culture, age, and language. I had known that in my head before but it took three days in an orphanage in Cambodia and a crisis for that truth to make it to my heart. What is there left to do but love fast and love hard because we never know what tomorrow will bring.
Please pray for the children of Cambodia, especially the wonderful group who stole my heart. Their future is in shadows as they sort through a lot of emotional and physical baggage. Pray that the Lord will bring them healing and good Christian counselors. But more than that please pray that the Lord will raise them to be mighty men and women of God.
Also thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey with your finances and prayers, I am so blessed to say that I am fully funded. The road ahead for my team and myself is going to be rough as we battle back from the trauma of our week in Cambodia, please lift us up in your prayers. God bless.
