Words create worlds.
My words create worlds. Worlds of pain and bondage or worlds of joy and freedom-words have power.
Not too long ago I received some constructive feedback that is changing the way I think about the my words. My teammate told me that because my words are valued, they can also harm and that I need to consider the responsibility of having a strong voice.
I was floored. See, to me words were just words and I learned to hide behind the constant flow of them. I have often found myself speaking just to fill the silence or fighting to find approval and worth in making sure my opinions were known and my voice was heard. I have made sarcastic comments, out of the bitterness in my heart, trying my best to disguise them as clever and funny, but more often than not failing and leaving an awkward, painful silence in their wake. I have destroyed relationships with words controlled by my emotions and inability to control my complete lack of filter on my cynical cycle of thoughts.
I have created worlds of pain.
Unfortunately, after all of the consequences of my sinful words, I have, in the past, selfishly spent more time focused on how others viewed me because of those words, rather than the people affected by them. Instead of focusing on stopping my words that have caused so much hurt, I would obsess over names people would call me, because of my unbridled tongue and think only about the way their pain made me feel. I hated feeling like a complete bitch, so I would selfishly lick my own wounded self-concept instead of changing how I spoke.
My teammate didn’t know it but, in one comment, she freed me to consider all of this from a different point of view. She showed me that my words sometimes hurt, but she did it in a way that kept my worth intact. She helped me see that my words were only capable of inflicting so much pain, because they have value and because I have value. All of a sudden, I wasn’t a terrible person- I was a daughter of Christ. Finally secure in who I was, I was able to objectively look at how I was acting and with my defenses down, I took all of this to the Lord in repentance.
That one comment has led to a month of reflecting with Jesus upon a lifetime of words. With every memory and every person that is coming to mind, my heart is breaking, because I see now that I loved people with my own strength and that kind of love always comes up short. Love in my own strength is conditional and
often clouded by my own desires, selfish heart, and shifting moods. I am grieving the way I hurt the Lord and the people I love and am allowing Christ to sanctify me and make me look more like the image of God I was created in.
The Lord is helping me to see that, true love is “quick to listen (and) slow to speak” (Prov. 31:26). True “love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it’s own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:4 -6). My words should reflect that kind of love-love that doesn’t start in my own heart, but in the heart of my Father.
That is the kind of love God is creating in me. He is redeeming my words and bringing me to a place so consumed by His love that it flows out of my lips with every word I speak. I may falter and fail at times, but through His sanctifying work in my heart, I am learning to love with words that reflect my spiritual gift of encouragement. I am learning to take my focus off of myself and onto the ones I love. I am learning to love with a divine love, only capable through Him.
Through His love, my words will create worlds of freedom and joy and life.
To everyone I have hurt with sarcasm, passive aggressive words, unneeded comments, strong opinions, or even a harsh tone-I am truly sorry. I pray that I can love you better in the future. I can’t promise I will be perfect-in fact, I promise you that I won’t be, but I’m learning and I’m trying. Thank you for continually giving me grace and for supporting this Race, where I am daily being stretched to surrender everything I am and follow Him in every aspect of my life.
