Before our Savior ascended into heaven, he gave us this command: "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you, and behold I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matthew 26:16-20).
This is the great commission-to make disciples.
Before I came to Matthias' Lot (my church), I did not really know what discipleship looked like. In the past year though, I have come to a better understanding of what it means. My church defines it as “the most dedicated way to teach young believers about God and His plans for us, His church. Discipleship is the most effective way to tell and retell the story of God and show the transformation that happens as a result of His redemption, offered through the blood of Jesus Christ. Through discipleship, the global church grows authentically as we await Jesus' return. This is our way of heeding the call of our savior, Jesus Christ”
In the beginning, when I first began attending this church, discipleship sounded terrifying. I was fine with watching someone live their life for Christ and walking alongside them, going through the module, and learning about God's character, but I knew it was more than that. I knew that it also meant authenticity, realness, honesty, and risk. It meant vulnerability and learning to trust. It meant telling my story. I wanted no part in that. I was comfortably miserable in my isolation and I had no intention of letting anyone in.
Fast forward a semester and I somehow found myself sitting next to a stranger at Fro Yo, practically trembling in fear of the unknown, as I listened to her share her story. Although our testimonies had many similarities, it took me until weeks later to tell her mine. To my surprise, she accepted it with grace and love, and eventually, I started to trust her. Vulnerability became easier, but I still squirmed around and laughed awkwardly during hard conversations and absolutely refused to make eye contact until it was over. It's okay though, because she learned how to speak my language and read me annoyingly well.
Through this 6 month 11 month process, I learned an incredible amount about who God is and I have grown more than I ever have before. I stopped church hopping and became a member of Matthias in the spring, learning the importance of community and serving with a body of believers. Then this summer I was baptized, making a public decision to fully surrender my life to Christ. Through the last eleven months, I have fought battles that I never thought I would have the strength to fight, and though some have yet to be won, I know that victory is already mine through Christ. I learned that Jesus was always the plan (we even found Him in the old testament!). I have experienced freedom in new ways and have surrendered more times than I thought possible. I learned that Jesus prays for me. I have let people in- a terrifying and growing amount of people and have let them love me through my struggles. Relationships have been formed, and others healed. I have embraced accountability. I have failed so many times, but Megan has been faithful to continually push me towards Christ. I have understood grace, and even though I forget sometimes, the Lord never tires of lovingly restoring me with His truth.
However, there is a season for everything, and the season for being discipled is not supposed to last forever. Eventually, the disciplee must become a discipler.
Sunday, at Lot Family (small groups that meet on Sunday mornings), it became clear that my time has come. We broke into girls and guys and talked about all of our discipling relationships and what we need prayer for. I confessed my fear that I wasn't ready to move on. When Megan's turn came, she said that she felt like a momma bird, who needed to push her baby bird out of the nest. She said that I didn’t know it yet, but I can fly and that it's time for her to start looking for a new baby bird. I could barely hold in my tears at the thought of being pushed out of my oh-so-comfortable nest. I like my nest. I like my little family of birds that I have come to love in the last 11 months. My momma bird has become one of my closest friends. I am scared to fly. I am scared to make a nest of my own and to lead my own little baby bird.
When I got home, I cried more than I have in weeks. I think I was grieving the loss of this past season. As hard as it was to begin this process, it is going to be harder to end it.
Unfortunately, we are not promised a comfortable life. In fact, I have found that the more I surrender and obey, the more the Lord asks of me and many times it is not comfortable at all. So, in my fears and insecurities, I prayed for guidance. He told me that it is time to rely on Him as my sole source of peace and strength. It is time to let go of my fears and let Him take control. He told me that I am inadequate by myself, but because His Spirit is inside of me, He will equip me for anything. I was made for more than following. I was made for more than sitting in my nest, waiting to be fed. I was made to jump. I was made to fly.
I am scared to death of this new season, but I cannot deny that the Lord is calling me to discipleship. He will use my story- leading me to accomplish my part in the great commission.
You know what the best part is? I hear God's got the whole thing rigged. I hear that I will be blessed just as much as my new little birdy in this season of leading, pursuing, and speaking truth into another's life. And when I need help, I know Megan, and everyone in my amazing church family, will always be there to support me every step of the way.
With this growing peace of mind, I’m jumping out of my nest and praying that I will find a little birdy to join me, so I can teach her how to fly too.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7)
