How do you imagine God’s reaction after you sin?
For me, I have this image in my head that leaves me desperately alone. I picture Him shaking His head and looking down as He walks away. I imagine Him thinking "How could she do this again? How could she possibly choose that over me?" I envision Him leaving me so incredibly frustrated and disappointed that He doesn't even know what to do anymore. I picture Him needing space to process how much I've hurt Him and
with that image in mind I am left feeling alone and broken, trying to figure out how to fix it. I sit in my depravity and think that this has to be the last straw. I can not fathom that He would take me back after something like that. Clearly, I am beyond restoration…
Eventually, though, when enough time has passed after succumbing to that same mistake, I will feel slightly more worthy of His presence and I’ll try again to build the relationship we had before- always carrying the weight and the pressure of getting it right this time.
Here is the problem- all of that is a LIE. The biggest sin in all of this is making my God into one I can understand, instead of searching and holding on to His true character (however mysterious and unimaginably wonderful).
This called for some soul searching and truth seeking. Here are 5 lies that binded me and the truths to set me free.
Lie #1:
It is possible for me to let God down so many times that He completely gives up on me.
Truth:
Truth is, I can’t let God down, because I am not holding Him up. He is holding me up with His righteous, right hand and He will never let me go.
Lie # 2:
My relationship with God is based on my performance.
Truth:
Our relationship is based on the cross, not my actions. He already did all of the work. "I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing." (Galatians 2:20-21) Jesus literally died and rose again all so He could have relationship with me. He adores me and nothing I do can change that. Grace is always enough.
Lie #3:
Simple obedience will please God.
Truth:
The Bible says in John 14:15 that “Those who love me will obey my commands.” Notice that the word love comes before obey. God wants us to love Him and find joy in Him. Obedience will come out of a heart set on fire by the Holy Spirit, not out of our legalism and attempt at being “good” on our own. As John Piper said, "God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."
Lie #4:
Because I have already been saved, I should never struggle with temptation.
Truth:
Hearing so many awesome testimonies about accepting Christ and never having any desire to fall back into their old ways, paints a tainted picture of the experiences of most Christians. God works in different ways in all of His children. Truth is, temptation is not a sin. Dealing with the same temptation every day for the rest of my life, but choosing Him, is just as powerful as accepting Christ and never dealing with temptation again. Everyone’s stories are different, because God designed them that way. Whether He completely removes a struggle from my life or continues to let me wrestle with it, I need to remember that He is fighting for me and He loves me.
When I become so focused on avoiding a particular sin, it just makes me more self-centered and less gospel-centered. I have already been saved and nothing can change that. Christ’s last words were, “It is finished.” (John 19:30) He meant those words. Sanctification does not happen by human power. Only by receiving Christ’s work on the Cross every day can He sanctify us, because sanctification doesn’t come by behaving better- it comes by believing better.
Lie #5:
God’s view of me and even His love for me changes based on things I do.
Truth:
There will be weak days and strong days. God could deliver me from this sin or it may keep reemerging for the rest of my life. There will be times that I feel the Spirit and times I don’t. There will be days I draw near and days I run and hide, but God does not see me any differently. He is constant and so is His love. There is no waxing or waning of my righteousness before God. I am perfectly spotless in His eyes, because of His son. I cannot add to or subtract from that view and I cannot make Him love me any more or less.
I may, at times, see myself as a worthless failure, but the truth is- I am His beloved, His Hephzibah, His masterpiece, His pure and beautiful daughter, and He takes great delight in me. "He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (Zephaniah 3:17)
The truth is, my Lord and Savior looks at me in the same way as He always has and always will. He calls me back to Him with a gentle voice and says, "forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" (Isaiah 43:18-19) He never tires of restoring me or pouring grace upon me. He never walks away, but instead reminds me that "His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:23).
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