“…A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire, and after the fire a still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:12
Mighty winds… the Lord wasn’t there.
An earthquake… the Lord wasn’t there.
Then a fire… the Lord wasn’t there.
Lastly, a still small voice… Elijah encountered the Lord.
I have traveled all around the planet for the past seven months. I have seen wonders of the world and countless masterpieces of our God. I have seen Him in the eyes of men, women, and children of all races, cultures, colors, and religions. I have worshiped Him in English, Thai, Khmer, Afrikaans, Zulu, Coosa, Spanish, and many languages. I have witnessed miracles and heard testimony after testimony of His faithful love. I have seen His children restored before my eyes. I have felt His immense love for us through the hug of an orphan. I have tasted His unimaginable imagination through the unlimited cultured meals that have been prepared for me. I have seen Him make the sun set and rise from all ends of the earth. I could go on forever speaking of the beauty He has revealed to me in the past seven months.
This journey has been dramatic. This journey has been big. This journey has been out of the ordinary. This journey has been everything but boring.
I have seen Him in the wind, earthquakes, and fires… figuratively speaking.
But, Ometepe Island, Nicaragua, is teaching me something new… something about His still and small voice.
Everyone knows an island vacation is the best way to get away from the rest of the world and just escape for a bit. You can get out of cell service range, not be bothered, soak up some sun, and get some peace, quiet, and rest. Living on Ometepe Island is not much different. It is definitely not a bad thing, but nothing for what I expected the last three months of my race to look like. I am used to a go, go, go lifestyle. If you know me, you know I can’t sit still for more than an hour without going a little stir crazy inside. Especially after this past year on the race, it seems a little strange to go more than five days without some big adventure or adrenaline rush. But the past few weeks, ministry has been slower than usual and we have had more than enough time to sit and be still. Down time on the race can be a great thing or it can become your minds worst enemy.
So much time to think.
Thinking about home and friends and family that you miss miserably. Thinking about this final six week countdown. Thinking about regrets of the past and nerves for what is next. Thinking about air conditioner and clean, running water that you don’t have. Thinking about your bed back home. Thinking about money. Thinking about how much you miss your dog. Thinking about if you are still going to fit in when you go home. Thinking about how in the world you ended up here living on an island in Central America. Thinking about why God wants you here. Thinking about how bored you get just thinking all the time. Thinking… Questioning… Doubting…
Then, when you finally slow your mind just enough to focus on the sunset or the laughter of kids in the background or just to be quiet, in the midst of all the doubting and questioning the very plans of the Father of the whole universe, He says in a still, small voice, “Beloved daughter, I love you.”
And there is nothing boring about that.
I have learned that our God is not normal. He is not just some big man in the sky that answers prayers and gives us hope. He is extraordinary. He is a mastermind. He is more than words could ever describe. He is bigger than wind, fire, and earthquakes yet He still loves us enough to speak to us in a still, small voice. He is everywhere and in everything. He is the air that we breathe and the breath in our lungs. When I start to think about all of this, I wonder why I ever questioned His plans for me.
I get bored. I miss home. I want the comforts of home. I am only human. But God wants me here… I know God has me here for reasons bigger than I can understand. He is helping me grow, teaching me discipline, teaching me patience, developing my character, and making me a stronger person along the way. He has given me more time to pray and more time to listen. This is what I hear in the silence, His still, small voice saying huge, loud things. It is no big miracle, wonder of the world, or life changing discovery, but nonetheless, it is God working in my life… and there is nothing greater or more extraordinary than that.
