There is no doubt that coming on the race is a different pace of life and a unique lifestyle. When I was preparing for my trip, I remember how excited I was to not have to worry about the real world for a whole year. I was so content with the fact that life would be a nonstop adventure for the next nine months. Well lately and this past week especially, the Lord is revealing a lot to me about the preconceived ideas.
Once I was actually on the field, I started to realize that for the first time in my life, I don’t know what is next. I have had pretty much every month of my life planned out since I was a little kid. I always had volleyball, school, a job, or other plans to fall back on. But now, when June rolls around, I have no clue. I don’t know what is next and as soon as I got on the field that started to get to me. I found myself spending majority my free time attempting to plan my whole life out from across the world. I found myself becoming bitter that life was going on at home without me. I am missing volleyball games and football tailgates and fall time in general. My family goes and does fun things without me. All of my friends went and got “big girl” jobs or went to graduate school… Life is just going on at home without me. I don’t know if I expected the world to just be put on hold for a year, but it just kept on spinning with me on the other side. I started to catch myself, in the midst of this culturally amazing and God centered experience, asking my self, “Why didn’t I just get a real job like all of my friends?” “Why did I ever commit to be away from everything I have ever known for this long?” “What am I even doing with my life?” This was all until I met Moses.
Moses is the sweetest and cuddliest little boy I have ever met. Every Sunday when I see him He comes at me in a dead sprint with His arms open wide for a hug. He loves us for no reason and I love him for that! Anyways, the other night we were at a small group session praying for a paralyzed man and I managed to snag a seat right in front of Moses. During worship and prayer, I held his hands and he played with my bracelets while I prayed for him. I prayed for his faith to grow and for his relationship with God to be powerful in his life. Then I found myself starting to pray for him to be different. I prayed that he be different than the other boys he played with and different than the students he went to school with. I prayed that he be different from the village people and different from the norm. I prayed that he have confidence in being different because God created him to be perfectly different from everyone else. I prayed that he live fearlessly for the Lord.
I looked up into his big brown eyes and wondered why I prayed that over him. Here in Surin, standing for Jesus and being a Christian is different. It is not normal here to worship God. You may be made fun of at school, you may not have any friends like you, and you may feel like an outcast growing up here a Christian. Yet I prayed for this life for him.
Then I started to think about sweet Moses’ future. I see him loving the Lord. I see him loving people with a love only the Lord can provide. I see him bringing hope to this village and province and country. I see him leading people to Christ. I see him finding the joy of the Lord in the midst of his struggles. I see him forgiving those who have hurt him. I see all of his dreams coming true by the grace of God. These are my prayers and hopes for him. The prayer to be different.
After some time processing that night, I started to think… maybe this is why I am here. Maybe somewhere along the way, someone prayed that I be different and go after absolutely everything the Lord had in store for me, even if it meant traveling the world for nine month with no income or plans. Even if it looked different from everyone else’s plans around me. Maybe they prayed that I have the courage to be different and follow God’s plan to the craziest extent. And for the people that raised me up and prayed for me, allowing me to dance to the beat of my own drum, still believing in me every second of the way, I am SO thankful. Without them, I would not be here. And mostly, I am thankful for the brilliant plans that God has in store for me. He has specific plans for my life and Moses’ life and your life. My prayer is that you embrace them. Be different. Jesus was different.
Moses with our friend Yoel!
Isaiah 64:8 “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”
Love,
EJ
