Coming on the race, I had my fair share of ideas of what to expect. Some expectations have been met. Some, God is showing me that He has other plans for. The one thing that I know is consistent is the truth of God. Through some victories and through some frustrations, here are a few of the things I am learning about God, the world, the race, and myself.
Expectation 1:
The World has so much to offer. True
I have always loved traveling and seeing cultures and doing things out of the norm. I knew when I came on the World Race that I would get to see places and people and things that I may never get in any other opportunity. This is was completely true. For example, this last week, the school we were teaching at had all of the students crammed under a little gazebo to present us with handmade purses they had made to thank us. We got to take a picture with every single staff member and class at the school and shake over 100 dirty little hands of the kids. When in the world will I ever get to teach and love and be loved by a whole entire school in the middle of Surin, Thailand? When am I ever again going to have a child who has close to nothing make me a purse with their bare hands? Probably never. It is crazy to me that I get to have experiences like these in Thailand for 2 more months. And then after that, I get to do it all over again in South Africa and Nicaragua. The world really is our oyster.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain
Expectation 2:
Everyday is an adventure. False
Some part of me thought that everyday would be a nonstop adventure on the race, from ministry, to teaching kids, to elephant riding, to exploring villages, cliff diving, bungee jumping, lake days, beach days and so on. We do have chances to do all of this, yes. But some days are just like life back in the states (in a different language and much weirder food). Like today, for example, we woke up, had breakfast, went to church, had lunch together, and now spending the afternoon lounging around, eating Nutella and writing blogs, reading, and journaling. However, I am thankful for rest days. Everyone needs a good chick flick movie night and hour-long facetime sessions with family and friends every now and then.
Expectation 3:
Coming on the World Race will be a glamorous experience. False
I remember when I was first accepted to the World Race, I loved stalking the #WorldRace on instagram and twitter. All the girls always looked so cute in their long skirts, with their long hair and handmade headbands, playing with adorable orphans or kids. Or the coffee date pictures looked so leisurely, having gourmet coffee at cute foreign coffee shops during bible studies all together, laughing and giggling together. Just like the song, “I’m so much cooler online”, World Race life is much more glamorous online. I do love posting cute pictures to show all of my family and friends what I am up to, but the part you can’t see is that I am sweating buckets (literally the most frustrating thing to never stop sweating) under that insta filter and the constant dirt under my finger nails! Sometime your can’t even tell that I showered in a bucket the night before! Oh, and you definitely can’t see through pics our stomachs churning from the foreign meals we eat on the regular… The kids are truly adorable, but sometimes the pictures hide the bloody motorcycle burns on the insides of some of their legs, or their scars and bruises, or the lice they have had for months that no one has cared to treat or tried to get rid of. Life in a developing country on the World Race is far from glamorous. I do miss my bed, air conditioning, toilet, hot shower, and clean towels and clothes. But a few months of being able to live with and like the Thai people is an experience I wouldn’t trade for any luxuries or glamour.
Expectations 4:
God will show up big time. True
It is so easy to find God here. I see Him in the beauty of the sunsets and lighting storms. I see Him in the eyes of the kids starting at me and tugging at my hands. I feel His presence in this church of only 40 members praising Him at the top of their lungs, because for most of them, He is literally all they have. I even feel His hope while walking by a Buddhist temple full of people bowing down to a statue. He is everywhere and inside every one of us, even those who deny Him. He is answering our prayers so abundantly here. For example, a Buddhist teacher came to us asking us to come back and teach about Christianity to a whole Buddhist school because she thought they might need to know about other religions. God provided us with a complete open door to share the gospel. They may not give their hearts to Jesus immediately, but God is allowing us to plant His seeds in places that a Christian may never be able to again. Another example, after I prayed with a group of students, (they had no clue what we were doing holding hands in a circle, with our eyes closed, while I mumbled a prayer in English to them) a little girl ran up to me asking me through the translators why I loved my God. A question that is so uncommon here because the only “God” they serve is Buddha. Another door God opened for me to share His love. I got to hug her and tell her how good our Father is and how much He loves her too! He is a good, good Father and showing up big.
Expectation 5:
I am completely content with who I am. I don’t want to change. False
Earlier this week, someone described me as a peaceful mind. I thought that was a little odd… because if they only knew all the thoughts, fears, and insecurities that flow through my brain on a regular basis. Then a few days later, some more people told me that I remind them of peace. Someone even told me that I reminded them of the color yellow, which happens to be my favorite color, and also means freshness, clarity, and enlightenment. This was all so odd to me because at home I think peaceful would be one of the last things I describe myself as. I am realizing, I don’t really know who I am at all. Besides my name and being defined by my university, degree, sorority, or volleyball, I tried to answer the question for myself. Who are you? To an extent, this is what I found myself writing:
“I am a thinker, finding joy through peace and nature. I am no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of God. I have a unique song and created different. My heart feels freedom. I am focused on the path. I am alive and living. I am a free spirit. I am real. I have qualities to offer. I am one who desires more of the Lord. I am revived and restored. I am thirsty for more. I am a searcher.”
So many of these, I don’t think I would have ever given myself credit for before. God is opening my eyes to who I truly am and the person the world needs me to be. I don’t know if I will change or not during this race. I know I will not change for the world or for whom people want me to be. But I am open to the transformation God has in store for me.
Please continue to pray for my team and I and our host family here in SiKhoraphume, Thailand! Thank you and miss you!
Love,
-EJ
