What is False Self? Your false self is the need to look for ways to impress people, rather than to place your expectations in who the Lord says you are.
What is true self? Your true self is indestructible because it’s deeply rooted in the never-failing love of Christ. It’s not easily offended, messy, bitter, or lonely because it rests in the fact that God is present in all circumstances ready to fight for you.
So long before leaving for the race my identity has been defined by other people. My actions, likes, dislikes, even my relationships always seemed to line up with other people’s expectations of my life. I even began to tell myself that I couldn’t dream because I wasn’t worthy of what the Lord had for me. My mind was filled with questions like, “What would my family think?” or “Would they even approve?” I created this false sense of identity out of self-protection from arrows thrown by the enemy and people.
Nothing was my own.
The thoughts of not knowing who I was began to bother me so much. I found myself surrounded by my own teammates who didn’t know me because I didn’t know who I was first. I hit rock bottom. This month has been filled with so many days where I had felt completely lost and I’ve been unable to pin point why. I’d feared that I had lost my joy. I knew before coming on the race and even now that “I’m a woman of joy, but the shadow of uncertainty and darkness blinded me from being able to see that.
When the potter is molding clay, there are a few steps involved. First, the dry clay needs to be moistened. He adds water. In comparison, the bible talks about how ‘water’ symbolizes God’s word as a cleanser. Through His word we’re cleansed of all unrighteousness and filled with His character and love.
Next, the potter applies pressure to knead and mold the clay to the desired shape. This process requires a lot of patience and gentleness. Likewise, when God molds and shapes us He does it with such grace and love, molding us into more of His image. This process at times because there is constant pressure and configuring, but He adds more water (love, grace, purity, and truth). One thing about a potter is he never takes his hands off the wheel. Because if he does his sculpture would fling into a big pottery mess. He’s focused on keeping his hands on the sculpture because it’s precious to him, just as we’re God’s prized possession (Deuteronomy 26:18). He continues the process of molding, adding constant pressure and water over and over until the masterpiece is complete.
Before the sculpture goes through the refining process the potter examines his work looking for any imperfections. Then it’s placed in the furnace. It’s a part of the process that can be excruciating, but without this final process the pottery wouldn’t stay together. So just as the potter refines his masterpiece the Lord also refines us in the fire. Even though this process is painful, the Lord reminds us that He will be with us through it and deliver us out of it (Daniel 3:17). In the end, we’re a beautiful piece created by God’s hands for His glory. Isaiah 64:8 says, “Yet, Oh Lord, you are our father. We are the clay; you’re the potter; we are all the work of your hands.”
So, I sit here in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, month 3 of the race, realizing that this is the process I’m in. God is molding His identity in me and burning away literally everything that I ever thought was precious to me. Such as expectation and relationships that I hold so close. Even though these times are extremely painful and even confusing, I know that in the end, the more I allow Him to do this work, the more I will look like Him and that’s ultimately what I desire.
I haven’t gotten to a place to say I’m thankful for this season because I’m right in the middle of it, but I’m trusting that God is revealing more of my true self. A self that is more defined by Him. A self that is unbreakable. A self that is strong, powerful, and bold. A self that walks in the authority of Christ. A self that ultimately looks like Jesus.
