I sobbed as I drove away with my sister standing on our front steps lingering in my rear view mirror.
Up until this moment I had been all talk.
But now it was real. I bought a car, packed it with the essentials, and packed the rest of my things into storage boxes in 72 hours. And now I was on my way to Georgia. The thought was surprising (even for me), exhilarating, and terrifying.
When I left on the Race I knew that I wouldn’t come back to live in Connecticut permanently. I spent 11 months dreaming of all the places I could live. Then before I knew it I was home and the moment had come to make a decision. I couldn’t shake Georgia and then it hit me, He was asking me to move there.
My nursing license, which was supposed to take 24 days to be processed, was approved in 24 hours by the state of Georgia. It confirmed in my questioning heart that this was the right direction.
When I got a call for an interview I really wanted a week later I didn’t hesitate to say yes. That’s when the scramble to say goodbye and pack all my things kicked into full gear. I honestly didn’t have time to feel anything or think through my choice. I had stuff to get done.
Next thing I knew I had 17 hours of open road by myself to think about what I just did. And the emotions came flooding in. I had to fight the urge to turn back several times. This is where my stubbornness came in handy.
I didn’t have a job nor did I have a place to live.
For a type A like me this was recipe for disaster. But something inside was telling me it would be okay.
Over the past few years I’ve learned the importance of being obedient in the face of the unknown. This was my moment of truth.
I arrived in sunny Georgia two days after leaving my snow covered home. I’d like to say this is when the fairy tale ending came. That I’ve walked in extreme physical favor.
Spoiler alert. It didn’t. And I’m still waiting for that favor.
I have been blessed with an awesome family, the Kells, who have been letting me crash with them while I figure things out. But job after job has fallen through in some of the most bizarre ways. And apartments haven’t worked out because I don’t meet the requirements.
People keep telling me I’m so brave to have packed up my stuff and just moved. Honestly, I feel anything but brave. A hot mess of confusion, fear, and frustration is probably more accurate.
It is extremely hard to see what God is doing. I imagine He is sitting up there watching me to see if I have the strength to trust Him in this limbo state. Not in a mean way but in a faith building way. Everything in my life has prepared me for this moment and I have to fight the scared little girl inside me to stay put and plug forward.
He may not have answered my prayer request to pay off my hefty student loans (no, that would have been too easy) but He sure answered my prayer to live a life that requires me to trust Him to provide for me more.
That place is exactly where I am at; watching His faithfulness unfold each and everyday. I do not just need Him in a spiritual sense, I need Him in a physical sense. And boy do I need Him!
