“A kingdom journey is most effective when we abandon what we think we cannot abandon. With less, we discover the core of who we are. Our true self emerges….” Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes
“When Jesus called his disciples to join him on a journey he was teaching them they would have nothing to depend on – no stable jobs, no place to sleep, no guaranteed meals – nothing but each other.” Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes
Heading into month six the Race would seem to be going by quickly and yet dragging it’s sweet little feet all at the same time. Reflecting back I was very frustrated with my lack of personal progress. Other people seemed to be taking off spiritually and frankly I felt like I was moving backwards.
I decided to pick up Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes and devoured it in three days. As he dissected each stage of effective journeys I realized the reason I did not feel like I was going anywhere was because I wasn’t.
Abandonment is the first stage. I left my family, friends, and a very good job. It seemed that I had this stage completed. In my mind I had abandoned plenty.
Except, as I read on I realized I was still very much in that stage. Sure I had walked away from the “big” things in my life. It wasn’t easy. But, there were so many other things I needed to abandon and as I read the pages I felt convicted and knew exactly what they were.
Anyone who knows me knows I am a planner. I was never a Scout but I live by the motto always be prepared. In my mind it’s not a bad thing. And it’s all fun and games that my day pack weighs slightly less than my actual pack until someone needs a snack, Band-Aid, electrolyte tab, or extra battery. As I packed my bags for this year I had piles upon piles of stuff to weed through. My older sister, who did this three years ago, laughed as I held things up.
“Emily, you won’t need that.”
“Emily, you know you can buy that in other countries?!”
“But, what if I DO need it? What if I can’t find them? You know everyone’s Race is different. I’ll probably need (fill in the blank).” In the bag in went.
My bag topped off at 58lbs leaving America. Six months in I had this revelation; I want to have the crazy stories you read about in other Racer’s blogs. In order to have those I have to leave room for God to show up in big ways and part of that starts with me cutting down my stuff. And eliminating all my back ups.
I laughed at my sister the night before she left for the Race as she threw things into her pack. There was no order. It was the bare minimum. I’m not sure she could even tell you what she had packed and we worried she wasn’t prepared. Looking back, she was probably more prepared for this journey than I was.
At the end of Nepal I put my money where my mouth is and I got rid of almost 20lbs of stuff. I sent my tent home. I put my sleeping pad on the free table at debrief. And I got rid of all my extra things (toothbrush, deodorant, shampoo, etc). And my proudest moment was when I fit all the clothes that made the cut into one medium size packing cube!
I probably have some a little more wiggle room when it comes to abandonment. It is a process, but I have to say that this month has brought with it a lot of cool things.
Room has been made and God is surely showing up.
Oh, remember how I sent my tent home half jokingly because we haven’t used them much. Well guess where I am living?
I quickly had to depend on someone else. Thanks to Miss Lauren Kell I found a home!
Here's the lucky man Bud that is our host while we tent. He's a sweet man who deserves a gold medal for loving us so well!!!!
