As I sit here typing this blog I’m wearing paint stained clothes, covered in dirt and sweat, and I have lice crawling through out my head.
The race has been hard for me because I have zero control over most of my situations. I can’t clean my clothes the second I want to, I have to plan my showers around the 8 people I live with, and personal space is not a thing when you share a bed with 4 other girls.
I’ve eaten foreign meals, exotic fruits, and more rice than I ever thought I could consume. I’ve lived in guest houses, churches, tents, and bungalows. I’ve traveled in the back of pickup trucks, planes, trains, and every kind of bus. And I’ve gone door to door, preached, taught, and sweated through days of manuel labor.
Very rarely do I get to chose what I eat throughout the day. Very rarely do I get to pick where I sleep or what I do for ministry. Very rarely do I get to do my own thing.
Im half way done with the race and i’d be lying if I said there weren’t many days where I just wanted to quit, go home, and return to the comfortable life I had in the states.
The race is messy, but so is life. We don’t choose messy, it happens and we cant help it. But here’s the cool thing, God always meets us in the mess.
He is there when we haven’t showered in days.
He is there when we are exhausted from ministry and don’t want anything to do with our team.
He is there when we want to go home.
He is there when we begin to walk through the hurts from our past.
And He is there when we don’t know what emotion we are feeling.
God loves to sit with us in our mess.
And truth be told, I think I’m gonna miss this mess. Miss the days we traveled with an insane amount of people in a van, the days I had to sleep with four other girls night after night, and miss the days we had to dye our hair because nothing else could end our month long battle with lice.
So next time life feels like its falling apart and you cant handle what’s going on, pull up another chair cause God is already there waiting to take a seat with you. Your mess may not be so bad after all.
