After following previous racers and their stories, I’ve made my own expectations on how I imagined my race to be. All I can say is, I was definitely let down. I imagined saving a crap ton of people and experiencing God in crazy ways I never have before, but that wasn’t the case. Ministry at Camp Hope often looks like feeding kids who can’t feed themselves due to their disabilities, brushing their teeth, massaging them, changing dirty diapers, etc. Not at all what I pictured myself doing on my race. And to be honest, I had a real crappy attitude about everything for a little while. I was walking into ministry angry, wishing I was doing something else. Something “more important.” Then my team and I found out that we’ll be working with more special needs kids for our last two months in Ecuador. I was livid and not understanding why God would make me go through more hell. I was really struggling and to be honest, I didn’t even want to be here in Ecuador. It was only until recently that I decided to change my attitude and look at things differently. I can even remember Bill Swan telling us racers that ministry isn’t always going to be what we’d hope for and we’ll sometimes get stuck doing things we’d rather not do. But I’ve learned that having a crappy attitude isn’t going to make things any better, it will only make them worse. And let me tell ya, whenever I chose joy and chose to have a positive attitude, ministry was actually fun. Say what? Yeah, I no longer saw feeding the kids or brushing their teeth as a chore, but as something I actually wanted to do. Why? Because Jesus would do those things without hesitation and I’m called to be like Him. Not to mention, Jesus loves the crap out of those kids just the way they are and doesn’t see their disabilities as a hindrance. So why should I? 1 Thessalonians 16-18, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” In addition, I can’t expect Jesus to show up if I don’t allow Him to. I’ve been so selfish and stubborn and I’m finally learning what it’s like to be more selfless. Philippians 2:3-4, “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well.” God is so rad and I’m starting to understand why He called me to the World Race.
