man sharpens the countenance of his friend”
Proverbs 27:17
take a lot of work, more than I’m sometimes willing to give. I think one of the
main things God has taught me this year is what it means to really be a friend.
Today Lauren & I were asked to come to a college ministry meeting and give
a talk on friendship. It forced me to think about some happy and painful times…
but more importantly caused me to realize the things God has taught me to
appreciate this year…
Last year I went through a really painful “break-up” with a
friend and felt a little damaged by the whole situation. When I think about it,
it’s almost like a bad dream. My mind will dissect every detail of the demise
trying to understand what exactly even happened. I’ll go through every array of
emotion and then just push the thoughts back down into “the pit.” I’ve always
thought that breakups and the idea of divorce seemed worse than death… because
you know the other person is alive, it’s just that they consider their life
better without you in it. Ouch, it kinds hurts just typing the words…
the kind of friend that I am…or more importantly the kind of friend I’m not… So
many times we fill our lives with people that know us, or the surface anyways. People that fulfill some
kind of need when we are around them. We keep them at arms distance, afraid
that if we are completely transparent they might not like us so much, resistant
to any real vulnerability. People that, let’s just be honest, don’t really know
us at all. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think I’m blessed beyond reason with some
amazing friends back home… but this year I’ve learned more about the kind of
friend I want to be, need to be, am called to be…
one of my best WR friends, was going to be put on my team! Lauren is pretty
awesome… she has shown me the love of Christ on a daily basis as well as what
it means to be a friend. We have an open, raw, and truly honest relationship.
Lauren knows me… the good, the bad, and the UGLY! …and Lauren still loves me!
Phew! I believe the God created friendships to first and foremost glorify Him,
but to also help us get through this race called life. We are called to a
higher standard and need friends that hold us accountable to that! She calls me
out on my crap, not worrying about offending me or my reaction. How many times
do we pass by an opportunity to tell our “friends” what they need to hear? More
worried about what they will think than their state of being! I know I use to
do it all the time for fear of rejection. I know whatever Lauren says to me is
out of love, even if I don’t want to hear it. She has my best interest at heart
and wants to see me be the best version of myself. Lauren knows my struggles
and she holds me accountable. Lauren is the kind of friend that I want to be…
There are a handful of girls in my life that are like
Lauren. I thank God every day for blessing me with such an amazing group of
women in my life. Friends that I have failed many times but still love me,
faults and all! It’s easy to look back now and think of all the things I
would’ve done differently in other situations, to beat myself over the “coulda,
woulda, shoulda.” I know that’s not very proactive, but in the future I plan to
work on being the kind of friend people can be proud of. The kind of friend
that cares about people enough to be honest with them. The kind of friend that
has the capacity to love people like Jesus loves people, without judgment &
conditions…
shown me Christ through our friendships… I love and cherish you more than words
could ever explain…
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will
lift up his companion, but woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no
one to help him up”
Ephesians 4:9-10
