I like to be in control.
And you put me in American culture and I like to be in control even more.
But I don't like that I like to be in control. I get in the way of what God wants to do in me and through me when I hold too tightly to the things of this world.
I've been trying to be in control the last few weeks.
Yet when I try to control the things in me and around me — I feel so out of control.
It's a paradox.
I knew coming to Bozeman would be hard. So much was unplanned and missing that I knew HE would absolutely have to come through for me…
… and He has. But I haven't seen it all yet.
God has poured His provision and blessing on me, like He promised He would. He has provided a place to live and some ways to make money. He has provided the people that would listen so that I'd begin to figure out what the heck just happened. And I know that He is still paving the way for this next season in America.
It's been Him. And it's been all Him.
Yesterday, I sat in Starbucks wondering if this past year was a dream. Guatemala. Honduras. Nicaragua. The Philippines. Thailand. Malaysia. Cambodia. Kenya. Uganda. Swaziland. South Africa. Did that really happen?
Yet, He began to remind me of His goodness throughout those places. The miracles that were performed and the lives that I saw changed. He reminded me that He was there and He was permeating the darkness with His light… through my contacts, through my team and…
…through me.
Whoa.
He used me this year. He had a plan and a purpose for me this year. And I feel crazy inadequate to have been apart of His blessings in the nations.
But, guess what? It doesn't end with this year.
He, the God of the Universe, is still working. He is still permeating this world with His love and light and He is still using me to do it.
This is the time that I get to live out the reality of Christ, the reality of His incredible miracles, because I know they happen. I repent for trying to be in control of the things around me and the feelings within me. I have a Father in Heaven who calls me by name. He takes care of me and never leaves my side.
I live for a God that died on my behalf. Who died on the world's behalf.
That should change absolutely everything.
