I’ve traveled to only two countries in my life thus far, and only one in my race of nine months. I’ve seen so much beauty in this tiny country of El Salvador, in the hearts of our brothers, sisters and the people here, than I have in my life I think. I can hardly wait to see more beauty around the world and in the beautiful people I meet.
I find that God likes to reveal His love for me through beauty around me, just as a little reminder for me to tell me, “Hey, I love you. You’re beautiful. I did this for you.” As the sun rises, as the sun sets, in the laughter of my teammates, flowers, scenery, in the crazy and sometimes the hard as well, I see beauty. So much beauty, but even beauty in ashes.
Many of the times I see a lot of beauty in a day on the race is when we have Adventure Days and we go have an adventure on a day we don’t have ministry. Recently we decided to travel the short 5-6 hour distance from our town in El Salvador to Antigua, Guatemala for a weekend. (And, to roast marshmallows on a volcano. YEAH BABY.) As we traveled to Antigua, I was seeing so much beauty around me as sun rays pierced from the sky through the trees in beautiful streaks of light. I was looking over the glorious fields on one side, and on the other the ocean that goes on for miles from a hillside. And I came to this revelation in the random middle of it all because I like to think a lot in long car rides (kind of a thing when you get extremely motion sick; gotta keep yourself busy): You can run around the world and you can see all the beauty it provides. You can run away from your problems, but problems will still always find you. You can travel the whole world to get away from your sin, but it will always follow you. You can try to escape the pain and hurt and the bad memories any way you’d like through travel, or drugs, or sleep, or food, wifi, sex, or drinking, or music, but the world is still here. It doesn’t matter where you go on this earth; the evil is here. But there is good. You need only find it.
Stop running. There is grace and love at the feet of Jesus.
Honestly, less than a year ago I would have picked up this trip in a heartbeat because I was struggling and wanted to leave home for a bit to escape my problems and my heartache. But God knew that wouldn’t be good for me in that moment and that attitude. When I signed up for the World Race, part of my mind still decided I was going to fix myself and be a different person. But I forgot that life still happens and problems occur no matter where you go. When you’re on the World Race, you have people around you, encouraging you to confront your problems and your past. So, even though I wanted to escape problems, problems still found me and I still struggled. I’ve been pushed to heal and find beauty in my history that looked liked burnt ashes, full of painful memories and hurts. But the thing is, I knew that would happen on this journey because you cannot become who you need to be in Jesus without facing adversity to build your character. I forgot that you must struggle with hardship first in order to overcome and become who you need to be. And I am only just beginning healing from those, digging them up, and facing them.
Problems are everywhere anywhere you go. Running away doesn’t solve your problems. Going on the World Race doesn’t solve your problems. You can never get away from problems. One of the hardest yet beautifully rewarding (if you have the right attitude) part of life is the art of facing your problems and facing your history. It’s awfully painful, and you may still be afraid, but it’s worth it. Our souls know how to carry and hold so much pain and hurt from our pasts in compartments all inside our bodies. It brings us down and makes our souls heavy, wearing us down until we’re worn, and it’s not healthy. Jesus comes alongside us to help us throw it off. He wants us to be free; He doesn’t like to see us hurting. But we’re afraid and then we run from God, too, because we’re afraid of what must be done in the process of healing. Trust me, I say all of this out of personal experience, not just observation, and its just rough, you know? I like to think about hurts and pains in our lives like a quilt. Quilts are made with many different patches of fabric, all different colors and patterns, all representing different seasons, colorful or bland, in our lives. As the quilt is being sewn together, those ugly pieces don’t look like they’ll do much good in such a pretty quilt. But they become one of the boldest and prettiest statements of the quilt when its finished. The ugly patches amount to something and build your character. They are beautiful. God can make all seemingly ugly moments beautiful. God doesn’t make ugly useless things. Beauty from the ashes.
I see the beauty in my ashes, the moments I felt burned to the ground, dark and cold. I see/still struggling to see the beauty in my rough patches here on the World Race, even though they are so stinking hard and I want to run from my problems. They are only beautiful to me now because God showed them to me as beautiful after I overcame them with my hand in His. I am an overcomer. But sometimes its hard to see beauty when you’re still struggling with it, and sometimes you let go of His hand and you have a hard time overcoming it or feeling like an overcomer. (Here I raise my hand, cause that’s me.) Get back on the horse, I tell you. I tell myself that in this moment as well. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you I’m struggling with it right now, and it’s okay. I’m a work in progress always. Life is always in progress, always a journey. One we must travel through and fight for.
Positive attitude over negative. Real truth or not real truth. You say you wish you saw in your life the same beauty that you see around you, so why don’t you? Don’t run.
In every season He is still God, and every season has a reason if you’ll trust Him, wait and see. There is beauty FROM the ashes.
We have minus two weeks left in El Salvador! We are soon on our way to Malawi! Please pray protection over our travels as humanity keeps getting attacked lately and we will be in major areas and flying. Thank you for your ever abundant support! Much love to you all!
Love, Em.
