Making the decision to go on the World Race is really, really tough.
Once you get past the outside glamor of traveling, there’s so many things that make the decision to go difficult. It’s an entire year and you will miss weddings, graduations, births, deaths, family gatherings, holidays, and just the day to day life. Finances is a huge one for many; selling houses and cars, student loans, raising the funds to even go on the trip, figuring out accounts, and buying all the needed gear. You are also tossed in with people you don’t know and will never really have a break from for that entire year and asked to live in way of doing community that is different from anything else you will ever experience. Then there’s the fear of leaving behind all the comforts; from internet, to a bed, to warms showers, and even the guarantee of not being horribly ill. And of course there’s all the “ifs” too. What if God isn’t really calling you? What if you aren’t ready? What if you can’t do it? What if you don’t like it?
That’s a lot.
But through all of this I still said yes.
Somewhere in my heart through all of these doubts and fears I knew that the quiet voice of God was saying “yes!” When I stopped allowing my mind to go down all those paths filled with fear, doubt, and insecurity I was able to hear Him call me to something greater than myself and more beautiful than I could ever create. Letting go of my plans for my future, my desires to stay where I was in control, and of the people and life I had built up around me hurt, but now I am just beginning to see that it was so worth it.
I’m so thankful that I made the choice of obedience instead of relying on how I felt or what I thought made the most sense.
For ministry this month in Ecuador my team and I have been working with a church ministry that has planted a small branch in a very poor area of Quito called Caspigasi. The buildings are brand new and so our job so far has been to bring life to them by painting murals, decorating the walls, and planting the land. This has given me a lot of time to keep my hands busy and my mind free to think and wander and keep up a conversation with the Lord. Creating and bringing life to things makes my heart full and happy- it’s when I’m in my element. Every part of my time in Quito has been filled with beauty and love- the glory Andes mountains all around, the wonderful hostel we stay in called Casa Blanca filled with my squadmates and some of the most Christ-centered and loving people I have ever met, and the Ecuadorians going about daily life with a special beauty all their own.
God’s been spoiling me this month; lavishing on me all the things that He knows I love and stirring up my passion for Him more than ever before and building me up with the words and love of those around me. Everything from the people, to the ministry, to the food, to the location, have been like stepping into a pair of shoes that are perfectly molded to the shape of my foot. I know that it’s going to get tough at times on the World Race- times that I am hurting, times that I want to give up, and times that I just want to forget about. But for right now I am enjoying every moment that God is giving me and how much He is loving on me and trusting Him with the rest.
I would never have pegged myself as a World Racer before this- I’m a bit of a homebody at times, I hate bugs, love dresses, and thought that my next step was graduate school. I had my life planned out and loved the way it was heading and worked hard to fulfil those dreams. God changed all of that- which honestly freaked me out- but He has shown me that His call is always so much better than my plans. Trust in what He calls and He will not only provide for you, but bless you beyond measure.
So here I am changing into a World Racer; my soul filled with gifts of God, my heart filled with love for the nations, and my feet resting in a pair of perfectly comfortable Chacos- even if that isn’t what I had ever imagined.
