So as I’m beginning this amazing journey, I am so excited but also realize that all this might seem a little crazy or weird in others’ eyes. I’m sure many questions pop into people’s heads that they (most) are just too polite to ask. I want to face the elephant(s) in the room and try and be as transparent as possible and let people know where I’m at and why the heck I want to do something like this. Here goes!
Top Ten Most Frequently Asked Questions by Bluntly Curious People
- Why now? Why not wait?
- Why this organization when you’ve always done CRU?
- Why so many countries instead of just staying in one place?
- How exactly did you realize you were supposed to go on this trip?
- Why do you need others to support you financially? Why can’t you just earn the money and go later?
- What does your family have to say about this?
- Why you in particular? What makes you qualified to do this?
- What makes you want to live out of a backpack and sleep on the ground for close to a year?!
- Why do you need to go overseas, aren’t there people who need Christ just as much here?
- Are you scared? Don’t you doubt?
#1. Why now? Why can’t you wait?
My very first reason is that God called me now and I need to obey Him. His plan is always perfect and He has an understanding of the future that I could never possess. He has paid a price for my life, I am not my own, and so what He asks of me is obedience and trust in His plan.
For those of you who would like a more practical reason, it does make sense to go directly after college graduation. I have been able to get my loan payments deferred for a year and I am not in my career yet so I won’t be forced to quit a job. Honestly, this will be the last time in my life when I’m not tied down in one place and can easily pick everything up and go. It’s sort of like taking a year off before starting college, but instead I’m a bit more mature and get to transition into the real world. What better way to get a good picture of what that real world holds than traveling it trying to love people with Christ’s love?
#2. Why this organization when you’ve always done CRU?
CRU has been a wonderful organization and has not only brought me to a relationship with God, but has continued to grow and guide me in that relationship. I eventually would love to go to seminary and dedicate my entire life to ministry, and I want to use this opportunity to spread my horizons and see what’s out there. I have contacts who have gone on this particular trip who had also been previously involved in CRU and who have encouraged me that while it is different, it was a great experience. I have been praying to God ever since I realized that He wasn’t calling me to CRU after college and asked Him specifically if He could lead me to an organization that is on fire for the Lord and believes in His power, interdenominational (I love the variety of strengths and ideas it brings to a team- CRU is the same way), constantly changing to the needs of the people in the location instead of just following rules, one that gets down and dirty to serve the highest needs, an organization that would teach me to live simply and be able to let go of my worldly things I find comfort in instead of God, and something that would be a year-long if it were overseas. That was a very specific prayer and I certainly don’t think it was coincidence that He lead me to the World Race!
#3. Why so many countries instead of just staying in one place?
This one is more of a personal preference for me. I am constantly changing and moving- there’s always some sort of big, new thing happening in my life and I’m usually onto the next thing before the first is even finished. In other words, I really need some variety in my life and don’t do so hot with a strict routine. When every day looks the same as the ones before, I find myself checking out and getting apathetic, even depressed. I’ve found ways to cope with this, but also know that I need a dynamic schedule and I think the World Race definitely fits that description! I love the idea of getting to experience so many different cultures and learn how to love on so many different people. I also think that I won’t really have time to get comfortable in one place, which, while hard, will help me to keep the Lord as my constant and comfort instead of relying on my ability to create a home for myself. I think the timing is just perfect- we are able to have enough time to establish relationships in each country and to get enough time for the full experience, but not too much to get too comfortable. It will be a challenge, but I can guarantee you that my view of the world will be radically larger!
#4. How exactly did you realize you were supposed to go on this trip?
A lot of my prayers were answered through this trip as I explained in question #2, but God has also given me burning desire to go to the world and share the Gospel. Now let me be completely honest here; I never thought I would be THAT girl. I judged other girls who said the same thing, thought that they couldn’t actually desire to go for Godly reasons, but rather that it was just some fad or that they wanted to be highly esteemed by others. And now I’m that girl. Are my motivations all holy? Nope. Traveling is just plain awesome and I’d love to get to see the world, it’s something I’ve desired ever since I was a little girl. But the kicker is that desire to travel would never be enough to get me to do something this crazy. God has been working in my heart ever since my trip last summer to the Middle East. When I got back, I had the attitude of “I’ve done my time as a missionary overseas, so I can check that off my good Christian checklist,” but He has changed my heart completely. He’s placed a desire in my heart to go and talk to all different people and try to understand them and understand how to best love them. He has made us all so beautifully unique, but also all connected by our humanness. I don’t think I’ve ever desired anything besides God this much- it’s weird and totally unexpected, but also amazing. God has placed many circumstances and people, people who couldn’t possibly know what I was thinking, in my life all pointing towards this trip and has confirmed His call time and time again in response to my prayers. All that He left to me was the opportunity to listen and trust!
#5. Why do you need others to support you financially? Why couldn’t you just earn the money and go later?
Practically, it would be a very, very long time before I was able to pay off my student loans along with my other expenses, get settled into a career and home, and then drop it all to go overseas for a year. Like I said in question #1, now is the time, but honestly I definitely don’t have over 15 grand sitting around. Through support raising I am able to call a group of people around me who are able to invest in what I’m doing and be a part of this trip without having to go. The prayer and love is so needed and I am completely humbled by the giving hearts of those around me. It’s the hardest area for me to trust the Lord, but I trust that if this is His plan for me, the finances will come in one way or another. I have support raised before for other missions trips I have been on and God has used those experiences to teach me some very important lessons. The first time, when I went to North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina He showed me that I can’t always do everything myself. There was a small amount right at the end that wasn’t coming in, but a girl in my bible study had raised over her amount and wanted to help me. It was a lot more humbling than I’d like to admit; I felt as if I failed, that if I was truly meant to be there that the money would have come in fully, that I wasn’t worth enough for people to support me. What a bunch of lies! God opened my eyes to how much pride I have in being able to be independent and successful in so many things and how little I let others into my world. That was the first step down a path of letting down those walls and being vulnerable, letting others love me and learning to return that love. The next support raising experience, for the 6 week trip to the Middle East, the first amount came in quickly and in large amounts from the most surprising of places. I was blown away and so excited- for once I was right on track to be fully supported and meeting all the dates at the right time. And then it stopped. About a whole month before. At a sizable amount of cash. After prayer my heart out I was straight up ticked at God. How could He do this to me? He gave me a heart for these people, called me specifically to this trip, caused problems within my family because of this, and then just cut it all off! Turns out the exact amount that I had left to raise was about 10 dollars short of what I had in savings for college the next year. I ended up writing a check- no more support ever did come in despite the calls, letters, and e-mails- and just came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to school the next semester since I just signed that money away. And guess what? God blessed me with jobs when I came home for the short time AND I got the amount magically added to my financial aid and then doubled for the semester after, so I was set for the entire year! God is cool.
#6. What does your family have to say about this?
This is a hard one for me and has been something that I have been struggling with deeply. My parents in particular are not on board with this- they are scared for my safety, for the decisions I will have to make, for my future and success in my career, for my finances, and for the baby girl that they have worked so hard to love and raise all these years. All of these things make a whole lot of sense and I love them so much for caring for me enough to not be okay with this. My mom has reminded me that God calls us to obey and honor our parents (Eph. 6) and what that is completely true, God also says some pretty harsh things about this relationship. In Matthew 10:35-36 Jesus was explaining the cost of discipleship and says “For I have come to ‘set a man again his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those within His own household.’” He goes on to say in the very next verse that “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.” Now that’s sort of intense if you ask me. But God is a jealous God in the fact that He wants us and ALL of us. His first command is for us to love Him and then to love those around us, especially our family. I want to honor my parents and continue to love them and am not going on this trip to rebel or hurt them in any way, but I must listen to what God is calling me to. I pray every day that they may understand and be able to love and support me even if they don’t agree. I trust that God will take care of my family and that whatever He has in store is worth it, worth all I have on this Earth.
#7. Why you in particular? What makes you qualified to do this?
I ask myself this question every single day! Let me tell you- I am not perfect, I am not better than anyone, I am not smarter, more qualified, more experienced, or better prepared than the next person. But I do love God more than life itself and He has called me, so I go. I am a broken, sinful human, but I also have been redeemed by Christ’s death on the cross that has cleansed me of all sin. While I sin, I am no longer defined by my sin but instead by eternity, I am no longer held to perfection, but instead to a standard of grace, and I am no longer just a confused college girl, but filled with the power and love of the Living God. What the heck does all this mean? It means that God knows what He’s doing. I can’t answer the question of why God placed this call on my heart, because I’m not God. I have no idea what is in store for me, how I will be used, how my strengths and weaknesses will contribute to my ministry and team, or even the impact I will have, but God does. What’s truly amazing is that He wants to use each one of us- our short lives and big mistakes- to do some big things, things that will literally shape eternity.
#8. What would make you want to live out of a backpack and sleep on the ground for close to a year?!
I don’t, but yet I do- is that clear enough? I have realized that I am a rich, comfortable American and so ridiculously blessed with food, shelter, clothing, and an obscene amount of earthly possessions. Nothing too shocking there, we’ve all heard it, but I prayed to God that He would be able to show me how to glorify Him with my things and how to live more simply. I am too often caught up in the consumer mindset and defining who I am with the latest fashions or the newest piece of technology instead of by God’s standards. When I look at my apartment full of things, I suddenly want to get rid of things and save my money to help others, but I don’t even know where to start or what I truly need. I think living with so few things for that long of a time will make me realize what’s necessary and what just isn’t. And sleeping on the ground? Not entirely looking forward to that, but many people around the world would think the mat I’ll be sleeping on is high luxury, so I can’t complain. I don’t want to say I’m going to help the people who have such obvious, desparate needs, and then go home to my big, luxurious apartment and watch TV- there is quite the disconnect there.
#9. Why do you need to go overseas, aren’t there people who need Christ just as much here?
People absolutely need the Gospel just as much in America! That’s exactly why my long-term goal is to dedicate my life full-time ministry within the States where I can love and serve the people of my own country, ones I can relate deeply to. It’s not who needs the Gospel more, but rather where He has called me in that moment. If God wants to use me overseas and not in America for that year, I’m not going to be the one to argue! There are many lessons that I must learn that may not be able to be taught here, I will be thrown out of comfort zone when in a culture so different from my own, I will get to see the different ways God works around the world, my views will change and my passions formed, and my heart will be broken for His people in many new ways. Honestly, we have a lot of opportunities here in America. I am educated, I have freedom from my government to pursue a religion in the open, I am rarely and never severely persecuted for my beliefs, I have far more financial means that most of the world, I have access to technology and other resources that others could never even dream of. Many around the world don’t have the opportunities that I have been blessed with. When I accepted Christ, I found out just how many of my friends and family had been praying for me to come to know the Lord, and I’m sure there were 100s more. This type of support is not true of other places- when I was in the Middle East where it was 99.9% Muslim, when I prayed for someone sitting on the metro across from me to come to know Christ personally, I was likely the first person to pray for that particular person ever. Even that small detail floored me with the need in places around the world- He calls us for a very good reason.
#10. Are you scared? Don’t you doubt?
Of course I doubt! I often question what in the world I am doing, if I can do it, if I will like it, what’s going to happen, and so many more things. It’s just part of being human and doing something that wasn’t in my 5 year plan. I sometimes get scared of what’s going to come next, but these things aren’t glorifying to God because I am saying that I don’t trust Him, that I don’t trust that His plan is good and perfect as He promises. Is it going to be hard? Absolutely! Am I going to hate it at times? You bet! Am I going to regret things, even regret going at some point? Of course! When I start doubting or getting covered by all my fears, I just pray and give them to God and focus my mind on something else. It really isn’t worthwhile to spend my time worrying and it’s not what He calls us to as His children. More than these fears and doubts, I instead experience a crazy amount of excitement , anticipation, joy, and amazement that I get to go on this beautiful journey and that I am even allowed this life. To Him be the glory!
