“Mark thinks I have some pretty cool plans for the future. I just have to get all my ducks in a row,” I said in a conversation with my mom. I’d just gotten off the phone with my brother. Her reply was just one more reminder of how well she knew her daughter. “Emily, you’d never be happy with your ducks in a row! Every time you’d get them all lined up, you’d shoot one!” As humorous as that analogy was, it’s incredibly accurate. I’ve never liked consistency. I’ve never liked routine. Although change is hard, I crave it constantly. I love living a fast pace life where nothing stays the same. I love adventure and spontaneity.
It’s been a year since that dialogue occurred and a lot has happened since. I landed myself a full-time job at the very university I went to school, using the degree I earned for the vocation I’d chosen. I had amazing co-workers, a salary that most veterinary technicians only dreamed of, and benefits to top it off. I got a place of my own, started paying bills of my own and caring for a cat I’d recently adopted. I’d paid off my both my car and my student loans. I could now call myself completely independent. It seemed that at the grand age of 25, everything had fallen into place…so naturally, it was time to kill a duck.
I’d only been at my job for 6 months when I began to feel like I was in a rut. College was done and I’d begun my “career.” That word was scary. It meant a long term commitment. I felt expected to do the same thing day in and day out, week after week. As someone who thrives off change, my biggest fear was that my life would be that way until retirement. I began to feel extremely claustrophobic. That’s when I found out about the World Race.
I think now would be a good time to mention that my fear of commitment and my constant need for change was not the only reason I pursued this mission’s trip! In fact, the World Race is a pretty gigantic commitment in and of itself. The reality is, my heart has longed for the mission field for quite some time. I’m very passionate about the living conditions in other countries. It frustrates me to see U.S citizens living such comfortable lives, almost completely oblivious to the suffering that occurs half a world a way. However, there is something extremely appealing about leaving everything I know, including my stable job, my family and friends who love me, and the many things I’ve been blessed with, to pursue a life of uncertainty. It’s adventurous. It’s risky. It’s living with reckless abandonment for the one I was made to serve! Am I nervous? Yes. Am I scared? Absolutely! But if I wasn’t, it’d be cause for concern. I do have an overwhelming sense of peace about leaving, and that’s how I know I am headed in the right direction. There’s a reason God has instilled a restlessness in my heart. There’s a reason I hate being comfortable; why I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. It’s because missions like this are what I am called to do.
Looking back on my life, it’s amazing to see how God has worked; even in my times of despair. I can see his fingerprints in every happening. Every second has been woven together. He’s always had a plan and years later, I’m finally beginning to see the big picture. We are all different, but for me personally, all roads have led here. Some may think it’s admirable, others may think it’s crazy, but I’m choosing to follow him. God intended life to be an adventure and I’m ready to live it out.
I will be leaving on July 1st, 2014 for the journey of a lifetime. I’ll be sharing the gospel with people in Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Malawi, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and the Philippines. It will definitely be a year to remember. I pray that God will break me and use me to reach out to his children. This trip and the time leading up to it will be an amazing opportunity to exercise my trust in Him. Please pray for me as I break away from the routine of my organized life and embark on this wild adventure in missions.
