(Originally written on July 25, 2012 as a prayer letter and update to a small army of supporters and prayer warriors.)
Well, it's been over a month since I've returned from this year of nomadic wonder around the globe, and so many thoughts and emotions are still rising to the surface following such a crazy beautiful 11 months. I would be lying to say this hasn't been an easy transition back into the American way of life. My heart in so many ways yearns and aches for the simplicity of my life abroad, of the clarity of freedom that abounded in the African bush, the jungles of Asia or the buggy filled roads of Eastern Europe. Tears often fall down in recognition of the sweet bliss this year truly has been.
(Stobrasti, Romania)
I began this Race so confident of who I was, and where the Lord was going to take me, but the Lord totally shattered any expectation I had right out the window. And month by month I found myself at the Lords feet crying out for more. More of His spirit to come and dwell within me, to guide me to, to speak through me. More of His mercies to fall from the heavens above down on the people around me, myself, my squad. And more of His love to come and pump wildly in my veins, to overwhelm and overflow. And a month home I find the same prayer crying out from my lips, a sweet surrender at the sandals of my Lord.
(Bangalore, India)
With each memory, each face that flashes so bright and clear in my memory, more faces surface. It's not the African child I came to love as though she were my own, or young girls of the Philippines, but your own.Each one of you has played a HUGE role in my journey to the Nations. Each one of you has provided a source of support, love, encouragement, and plethora of prayers. And I thank you in the simplest and most humblest way I know, with not eloquent words or flashy expressions, but a simple thank you.
(Cambodia)
You may never know the depth your kindness has been. For myself it's a total heart transformation. I had my heart wrecked and broken in most holy of ways, and my heart will never recover from that, I dare not ask that it will. There's such a sweet beauty in the wrecking of one's heart, of letting the Lord tug at my heart, flip it over, pond into it His sweet grace, His sweet beauty, His sweet comforts. And His love, His sweet, sweet, sweet love. How that loves moves overwhelms me even now as I type these words. So thank you for fighting for that Love, for fighting for me in prayer, for supporting me finacinally, for each message, each post, each remembrance. Thank you.
(Cambodia)
Because of His love that is so evident on each one of you, I was able to go into each country and pour out more of myself, more of Him. I was able to see lives transformed. I was able to hold an abandoned child in my arms in the same manner the Lord holds me, seeing the curling of her lips into a breathless smile, my face the same. I was able to push through exhaustion of months of sleepless nights, bellies full of rice, grim on the skin, and pour myself into each community, speaking the words the Father was teaching me, and seeing less of the girl of yesteryear and more of the mighty lioness that Lord was and is grooming me to be. So thank you.
(Mbarra, Uganda)
As I enter a new season of unknowns, of possibilities, I find myself dependent on the Lord as my provider. And my heart is full of thankfulness that I've been blessed to have lived this past year the way I did, to have experienced the things I've experienced, and to be transformed the way I was transformed. Thank you for playing a role in that, you will never know the depth of my gratitude.
"Look among the nations and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told."
Habakkuk 1:5
(Select photos used with the permission of Jessica Gasperin and Rachel Balson)
