Praying over hundreds of people, traveling to villages 2+ hours away, walking house to house for hours, singing the same songs with children for hours, and getting to bed at 11:30 most nights is draining. As a squad, we had poured out so much that we needed to be filled up again.
The last night in India, we met as a squad for a time of worship. We had a time of "soaking." We were still and silent in the presence of the Lord and asked to be filled up with Him. As I took on the posture of a servant, lying on the floor desperately wanting to hear a word from the Father.
"Last month was challenging physically for you. Next month, you are going to have comforts and conveniences that you didn't have in India. It's going to appear to be easier, but you are going to face opposition and spiritual battles that you didn't encounter last month. In order for you to get closer to me and see more of my character, you're going to have to struggle and see my strength and power." — The word I got from the Lord that night.
WOW…God. Really? That's the encouraging word you want to give me?
Then I heard more.
"I am doing this because you are my daughter and I love you. You don't have to walk through this alone. I will be your strength through it all. "
I've never heard a word from the Lord like this. I battled with this for several days. After trying to process what it meant and how to walk this out, it began to make sense.
Hebrews 12:29 says " for God is our consuming fire." My creator, Daddy, Papa, Abba is a CONSUMING FIRE.
When gold is refined by fire, the impurities are removed. This is the same thing the Father does to his children.
If I am longing for more of Him, the consuming fire, each step is going to be painful.
Each step closer to Him, requires that more of me is removed. More of the impurities must be removed.
There are layers of myself that the enemy has put on me through the years that the Father wants to remove.
My Daddy wants me to be the woman, the creation, that he intended for me to be before I was in my mothers womb. In order for this to happen, those layers must be removed.
As I walk towards Him, my flesh and spirit are going to be at a tangible war.
He wants to break me down in order to rebuild me.
Is this month in Nepal going to be easy?
Physically, yes, it will be easy. Spiritually, it's going to be challenging.
Am I apprehensive and nervous about this upcoming month knowing the word that I received from the Lord?
No, because I know I have the strength of the Lord. It's not going to be easy or fun during the process, but it's going to be beautiful. It's going to be worth it because that means I'm one step closer to my Father. I'm one step closer to knowing the true character of my Papa. I'm one step closer to experiencing the fullness of my God.
I'm being beautifully broken.
I ask that you pray for me this month, that the Lord would be my strength through this growing process. Our Father refuses to leave us how we are.
Be encouraged.
