My heart is in Nebraska

Hello my people-

The best way to sum up the past few days is in 2 words: emotional exhaustion. This has not been placed on me by our new ministry or location but due to circumstances back home.

This is what I signed up for, 1 year overseas, away from family and friends. I fully knew when I left the states I could only return home under extreme circumstances. I was risking being away with the potential of things going wrong.

My grandpa has been readmitted to the ICU in Omaha, Nebraska, where he is being taken care of by amazing doctors. This recent downfall in his health was unexpected. Before I left the states he was a healthy 75 year old going on bike rides and dancing with his wife. My entire family has gatherd around my Mom's parents and they are constanty in and out of the hospital, ensuring my Grandma is never alone.

I am in Chimaltenango, Guatemla working with Joyfilled Homes International. This is an amazing minstry, run by an American from West Virgina named Maureen. This is a home for special needs kids. They have the best care, from school to daily baths and nutritious meals. The lives in this community have been touched by one woman who volunteered to love and care for their children for free. Children who are overlooked, abused and often seen as outcasts. Many parents have come to know Jesus because this woman took in their children and provided what the parents coud not on thier limited resources. It is truly a beautiful place.

Check out the sight:http://losgozosos.org/LosGozosos/Welcome.html

Here I am witnessing an amazing ministry. Tenting it with access to showers, a washing machine and internet. Living in luxury.

The tears won't stop coming. The desire to be home with my family is overwhelming. Being present is a struggle.

This is where the Lord has me. There is a reason. He is with my grandpa and my family. The girls constantly remind me to "let my true emotions show" and stop trying to be tough. They remind me, we are a family and we are here to support you in the good and bad. I hate emotions. I hate showing emotions. I hate crying.

Praise God because emotions are ok. Praise God because in these times he does not leave my side, even when I doubt. Praise God we're not called to have it together. Praise God for friends to lean on. Praise God he is bringing light to the darkness my Grandpa is experiencing. Praise God he is comforting my family.