Shalom sweet people's-
"You saw how the Lord God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." -Deuteronomy 1:31
^^^Top of the mountain @ Young Life camp (summer 10') with our kids
Which of the following would you chose:
1. A stable job OR living from paycheck to paycheck?
2. A set plan outlining the next 3 years OR an uncertainty about where you will be in a few months?
3. A loving spouse OR the single life?
4. A peaceful family OR a broken & unreliable family?
As I view the previous questions, I would choose the 1st part of each question (assumption: we all would) but a stable, perfect and smooth life usually infers that I am in the drivers seat not my God. Don't be confused, in no way am I saying these are not part of a life with Jesus or bad things BUT I have realized I have SERIOUS control issues. Instead of letting God carry me up the mountain, I've been inviting him to walk besides me, dwelling on my own strength. In no way have I left him in the dust but I still havn't given him what he deserves.
Here's where I see that in my own life (maybe you can relate)..…
- I avoid situations that bring negative emotions (specifically hurt & pain from past experiences). Clarification: No one wants to feel this way BUT we cannot ignore past traumatic situations or deep scars without becoming numb. Numbness leads to void of pain but it also leads to the inability to feel true joy & healing. News flash: Life is long & dull when we live without the acknowledgemnt of our soul. –Romans 5:3-4
- I take on responsiblity in the relationships in my life (friends, family & even strangers). Treating the relationships as duties & obligations. Basically, I take on burdens & put their salvation in my hands (DANGER). In doing this I take on anxiety from the relationship, the opposite of true fellowship. Jesus gave us the gift of community so that we may support & encourage one another NOT to burden or add stress to eachothers life. "I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but also I want to be encouraged by yours, in this way, each of us will be a blessing to eachother." -Romans 1:12
- One word: Trust. As a 22 yr old I see friends in ALL life stages (school, job, marriage, traveling). I have a difficult time being content EXACTLY where I am, trusting that His plan is always in play. The World Race has outlined my life for the next year & a half. Although, this is not a CRAZY long time, it has resulted in me feeling "limited." UNBELIEVABLE, I'm about to go on an AMAZING trip where I get the blessing of simply loving on people, living out of a backpack, and having no obliagtion to shower (sidenote I hate to shower/get ready so this is a big deal), and I still manage to let doubt creep into my excitement. Jesus created us, so that NO ONE is the same aka we are each unique therefore his plan is different for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US therefore my life will never directly copy someone else's (how neat is that?). -Romans 13:3-8
I have confessed these things to you because I no longer want control or responsibility but wish to truly experience a life ruled by faith and trust in my heavenly Father. I will never be perfect. You will never be perfect. He will continue to teach us & convict us. The realization of our faults (aka where we are "holding out" on Him) is GREAT. May you be glad when He convicts you & may you be willing to change. Only He can transform us. I hope to become powerless through my own strength. I hope the same for you.
"He must become greater, I must become less." -John 3:30
Have a sweet sweet unpredictable weekend,
Ellie
