I had no idea what to expect going into training camp. Past racers were eager to fill us newbies in on what were getting into. I wanted to go in blind. So I did. And I am glad I did.
I hopped in my taxi at 3:30 a.m. to head to Atlanta where I would meet the people I will be spending the next year with. It would be an understatement to say I was just nervous. I grabbed Starbucks after landing and headed to our meeting spot in the airport. Of course, the barista got my name wrong and thought I said Helen. So I roll up to the meeting point and pop a squat and say, “Hey guys, I’m Ellen (because what else do you say when you meet the 44 people you have basically been online dating).” Which was confusing as I was holding a cup that says Helen so I’m sure there are squadmates who think my name still starts with an H. It was the weirdest thing to be sitting amongst strangers but knowing everyone will be my family in just a few months. “What’s your name?” “Where are you from?” “How old are you?” were recurring questions I heard coming from all directions. I knew I was on the right squad when we were already okay chillin in silence while other nearby squads were already screaming and hugging each other. Too soon. Little did I know I would develop a screamy huggy love for every single person on my squad in just 10 days.
We loaded into vans to head to Gainsville and the chatter quietly stopped. Everyone passed out mainly from the long day of traveling but also trying to get as much sleep as possible before being thrown into this mystery “forest” called Training Camp. We started seeing signs of camp and I felt the anxiousness and nervousness building up. I could see rows of tents set up and I’m thinking I made the wrong decision. Can I do this? Is this something I am actually supposed to do? Did God really call me here? All of these doubts started flooding my mind.
We were handed a sandwich and told to go set up our tents. I had never set up my tent by myself… What if it doesn’t work or what if I look stupid because I can’t figure it out. I get to the campsite and my squad immediately jumps to help me set up. That is when I realized the love our squad already had for each other. They showed me love through their actions and it didn’t matter if they knew my name or not, we were already family.
This is what I wrote in my journal the first night: “ Drenched. in. sweat. glasses fogging from humidity. ants attacking my leftover chips outside my tent and they bite. baby wipes to “clean” yourself. It worked for a second but then I started sweating again. Oh, a nice breeze just came through my tent. Come back. Everyone is confused, hungry, sweaty and smelly. Lord, surely I can do this.” Those were my thoughts night one. How encouraging. How the heck can I do this for 10 more days. Little did I know camp would become a place where I encountered the Lord like never before. It became the place I did not want to leave because so much of Jesus was there.
The Lord often speaks to me through others. It may be through their words or it may be through their actions. My squad will never understand the impact they had on my life during that week (and it is only the beginning). The Race does not make sense. Training camp does not make sense. It is a crazy thought. “Hey let’s go camp for days on end in the heat and humidity of Georgia. Let’s eat lentils and curry with our hands and have crickets for breakfast. Coffee? Who needs it. Let’s shower with cold hose water and use porta potties that only get changed after reaching max capacity.” Does this sound like a dream vacation to anyone else? The craziest thing of it all was that I had a pretty good time doing it (minus throwing up the first night in front of our squad mentor, sorry Chrissy). I was also surrounded by people who had a pretty good time doing it too. There is only one reason we endured what we did for those 10 days. Jesus. To get more of Jesus. To experience Jesus. To become more like Jesus. Nothing else mattered.
I experienced scripture come alive at training camp.
Philippians 1:21 “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Philippians 3: 7-11 “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him.”
I have heard these scriptures in the past but I never fully understood the weight of the words until coming home. It was not easy leaving behind the comforts of life and learning what abandonment actually entails. Even though I only had the bare necessities of living, I have never felt so full. I was full of life, love, and hope. I gave Jesus the room to show himself to me so that I consider everything I had before a loss in order to gain more of Him. If you create the space and invite God in, He will come. It is hard for God to fill a cup that you already have filled with so many other things. Create the space. He desires a relationship with his children and will meet you where you are no matter how you feel. Feelings follow choices.
Although TC was filled with so many memories and personal growth there is one instance I would like to share that also applies to everyone reading this.
After the first 3 days of training, I was feeling very defeated, frustrated and alone. I felt like the Lord was not with me and He just tossed me into the WR and said best of luck. I kept praying, “Lord, do you see me? Are you with me?” I was not getting a response or feeling any reassurance. As worship was wrapping up on night 3, I walked over to a staff member to have her pray for me. I did not tell her what to pray for. As she is talking with the Lord, she told me to look her in the eyes and listen. She said, “The Lord knows you, Ellen. He is with you. The amount of love I am feeling for you right now from the Father is overwhelming.” She said this with tears streaming down her face. I have never had the Lord speak so clearly to me through someone else. He wanted me to understand the truth of His love and presence so much that He used another heart to verbally communicate it to me.
This goes for you too. The Creator of the Universe knows you. He loves you. He died just so you never have to be apart. He desires an intimate relationship with you. And now He is using me to be the one to communicate that truth to you.
I want you to be encouraged by stories and lessons I will share on this blog (please subscribe for updates). God is not more powerful in my life just because I am doing this thing called the World Race. He desires to use you to advance the Kingdom exactly where you are. It does not have to be overseas. I want to be a testament to the greatness and goodness of our God that is with you always. I am inviting you to join me on this journey and I would love to talk with you if you want to know more!
— Ellen
PSA- I am $7,000 away from being fully funded so any support you feel led to give is greatly appreciated!
