Weird title, I know. But it has been something God has been teaching me this past month and something that I need to start embracing and practicing.
This month my team stayed/worked at New Life Children’s Home in Jalaca, Honduras.
Having worked with kids my entire life I was excited and thrilled to be with children all month and pour into them. However, God worked on my heart in a different way. I struggled with loving these kids. They were sometimes rude, sometimes disobedient, and sometimes just not who I wanted to be around. I spent a large amount of my time up in our sleeping quarters reading books, or other portions of my time doing cleaning/working projects around the property. It wasn’t the ministry I had envisioned and I couldn’t understand why I just wasn’t able to love. I mean, I worked with kids who were just as bad (if not worse) back home and had no problems loving them. A big difference being I could give a kid a write-up, time out, or talk to their parents if there were problems. But here, in Honduras, I wasn’t able to do that and it wore me out. I was trying to love them in the way that is between friends and family (which everyone assumes is LOVE). I will even admit that that’s the only type of love I pictured. So when I was struggling to love people, it was because I was putting them in the category of how I love my friends and family. If I didn’t like someone, I wasn’t going to love them like I love my mom, siblings, friends, etc.
I started reading the book “Masterlife” by Sherrie Brown and Avery Willis. There is a section that discusses love:
“When the Bible tells you to love your fellow Christians, love is described as a way of behaving, not as an emotional feeling… Love is something you do. Love manifests itself in the way you act. Acting lovingly toward someone when it goes against your nature to do so is the essence of love.”
Then a wonderful woman (and now friend) Amy came into the picture and uttered these wise words, “You don’t have to like someone to love them,” and that’s when it all fell together and I realized the bigger picture that God was trying to show and teach me. People read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and assume that that is love. The kind of love that we see in the movies, read in books, and what almost every wedding puts in as their “verse”. Yes, they are all good attributes to strive for. But it is so much more than that. That verse tells us how to love all people (even ones we don’t like):
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
The month became easier after that and I was able to enjoy my time with the kids. Even when I would have rather secluded myself in a room, I loved these kids, and I know I will miss them down the road. While it may have taken me a while to come to this realization, I know from here on out I will strive to love people. Genuinely love them the way that Christ loved us, even against my imperfect human nature.
So to whomever is reading this, know that I love you.
I love you.
God bless.
