When I was at Hong Kong debrief (the one before we entered China,) I
sat down with one of my debriefers, and this is what he said to me,
(paraphrased)
“At first I thought you were quiet, but your not
quiet. You have a fire in side of you, but you keep it hidden. There is
nothing wrong with you though, your parents love you. There is no big
reason for you to keep it hidden except that you are scared or a little
bit selfish.”
I thought about this, I am selfish. I care more about
myself and being comfortable and not looking stupid than I care about
speaking truth, so that other people can be set free from bondage. My
debriefer asked me to look him in the eyes, and make a commitment to
stop keeping the fire hidden. He asked me to wake up each day and just
live out the passion that is inside of me. That sounds like such a
simple thing to do, but I stared at him for a solid five minutes before
I was ready to commit to this. He said it was a good thing I hesitated
because I was making a big commitment.
I didn’t know it at the
time, but it is hard to wake up and live out the passion that is inside
of you. Some days it is a whole lot easier to silently hide in the back
of the room.
This month Esther and I have been teaching a bible
study at the Cuatro Community church. I shared a lesson on going and
telling. We talked about being obedient to God’s calling on our lives.
After I gave the lesson, Esther was helping the ladies think through
ways that they can serve their community, when the Lord told me to go
back in front of the class, and tell them about when I was called out
in Hong Kong. I heard God telling me to ask the women to make the same
commitment I had. I remember thinking that I couldn’t do it because I
still don’t really know what it means “to live out the fire that is
inside me.” But before I knew it, I was asking the women to step out
and live.
It was amazing to see the women respond to this
call. It was amazing to see walls come down in these women’s hearts. It
was amazing to see the tears flow as we prayed blessings over their
lives and ministries. It was amazing to speak the words God had given
me. It was amazing to step out and live.
This week we taught the
women how to teach the bible. It was fun to see, a once very shy group
of women, boldly stand in front of each other and share different parts
of the lesson.
We have asked the women to pray about continuing the bible study once we leave.
Please
pray that these women will have the courage to step out and live. Pray
that they will honor their commitments to the Lord, and that they will
live out the fire that is burning inside of them.
