Learning to Love- The following is straight from my journal. I wrote it out while I was in Cambodia. I have a lot to learn about love these are just a few ideas that I have been thinking through.
We are told to love others as we love ourselves.
Because I always look out for my own self-interest I should always
look out for the best for someone else. Many times I look out for the
best for someone else, but with the expectation that they will do the
same for me. When I do this, I am not putting some else’s best self
interest at heart, but instead I am trying to earn their love. I want
them to choose me. If I am nice to them, they will be nice to me.
This
works if both parties are nice all the time, but when the other party
fails to choose me, I become resentful, angry, fight for my way, and
withhold my love.
In with holding my love, I hurt the other
person, I fail them. Then they with hold their love from me, and we
find ourselves ridding in a ridiculous carousel of hurt.
I have
to choose others without the expectation that they will choose me. I
need to choose others because it is right and pleasing to the Lord. But
if I choose others, who will choose me?
There is a fear that if
I always choose others, I will be hurt, abused, stepped on, overlooked,
and taken advantage of. I make decisions in my life with the underlying
understanding that I have to protect myself.
I say I love, but I
don’t give of myself. Instead of giving of myself, I do the expected
curtsies just to get people off my back.
I am patient until waiting makes me miss out on something better.
I am kind until I just don’t care anymore.
I am not jealous until I see someone receive affection that I feel I deserve.
I do not count wrongs until I it is to my advantage to bring the other person down.
My love does not end until I decide to bail to look out for myself.
Our
American culture teaches us that we have to take care of ourselves
before we take care of others. If I love myself first, then there are
times when I am not loving others. If I can pick and choose when to
love others, my love is conditional. Conditional love does not change
people, conditional love does not change the world.
In a world
where we are always told that we are not good enough, in a world where
we fail despite our best efforts, in a world where physical death is a
shadow over our lives, we need to know that someone is in our corner.
We need to be in someone else’s corner. We need to know that someone
once us to win. We need to know that maybe, just maybe someone sees
something inside of us besides failure.
We needed to know that we are a needed and valuable part of the body.
Sometimes
we don’t know how to love encourage and protect each other. Sometimes
we don’t know how to fix each other, or we think that it is our
responsibility to fix each other. Because we put to put on our selves,
we shy away rather than try to understand the demons that taunt our
brothers and sisters. This is selfish.
I will only love my
brothers and sisters when I am confident, self-assured, and know how to
fix them. Are we afraid that we will fail when we try to help others?
Are we afraid that our best efforts won’t accomplish anything? We
choose to listen our own demons instead of choosing love. We choose
death for our selves and our brothers and sisters because sometimes It
just feels easier.
We need to encourage and love each other. We need to be patient. Where do we get this encouragement and patience.
“The
scriptures give us patience and encouragement so that we can have
hope.. May the patience and encouragement that come from God allow
you to live in harmony with each other the way Christ Jesus wants. Then
you will be joined together, and you will give glory to God the father
to our Lord Jesus Christ. Christ accepted you, so you should accept
each other which will bring glory to God.” Romans 15:4-9
“Encourage the people who are afraid. Help those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.”
1 Thessalonian’s 5:14
We need to break the cycle of hurt for hurt.
“Be sure that no one pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to do what is good for each other and for all people.”
1 Thessalonians 5:15
“Let each of us please our neighbors.”
Romans 15:2
How will we get what we need if it is not demanding our way from others.
“Do
you know where your fights and agruments come from? They come from
selfish desires that war within you, You want things, but you do not
have them. So you are ready to kill and are jealous of other people,
but you still do not get what you want, so you argue and fight. You do
not get what you want because you do not ask God.”
James 4:1-2
God
gives, God protects, so I don’t have to take care of me. When I
understand what God will do for me, and who he is, I am able to choose
my neighbor.
I can choose to love even if there is pain because Jesus choose pain to love me.
