I made it safely to Cambodia. We are in the capital city working with “Love in Action” orphanage. We live at the orphanage, and spend our days just being with the kids.
The kids here in Cambodia break my heart. Last night we went out to dinner to celebrate Mark’s birthday (Team Concrete), I couldn’t take more than a couple bites of pizza before a seven year old with a basket of books tied around her neck tried to sell them to me.
It was passed down the table not to talk to these kids. We weren’t supposed to encourage them, but the truth is I hated sitting at the table brushing them off.
On the streets there are kids carrying their baby brothers and sisters. Picture a six year old carrying a six month old while begging for money.
I want to give to these kids every time I see them. I don’t know, maybe giving them money is wrong. Maybe it teaches them that a life of begging is okay. Maybe the money goes to some terrible parent who has no problem exploiting their children. Maybe the parents hate themselves for this, and wish they could do better, but feel like they have no other choice. Who knows.
When I look at the kids, I just want to take them home, and clean them, and feed them, and take them to the doctor, and tell them everything is going to be okay. But life doesn’t work that way.
I have tried to channel some of my frustration into loving the kids at the orphanage. But even that doesn’t feel good enough. Everyday when we leave the girls house, they grab on to my waist, and try to keep me from going. I peel them off me, promising to be back tomorrow.
But what happens at the end of the month when I have to leave for good. What am I doing? Holding them today to leave them tomorrow?
Yes, I know I can give them Christ, and maybe if I pray real hard, they might figure out what living a life for Him fully alive really means. Because today, I sure don’t.
