It is month 4 debrief already. It’s difficult to explain how I feel. It’s like I am living fully in moments and diving into these incredible cultures, but somehow I am still shocked when I look at my passport.
India.
Nepal.
South Africa.
Swaziland.
As we read this list, Nepal inevitably jumps out a bit. This is a place filled with Hindu and Buddhist temples, deep poverty, idolatry, and heaviness. The recent disaster that has struck this nation has brought with it lots of different questions. People want to know if the places I visited are still standing. They ask if our hosts are safe or if I am in contact with anyone there. Some wonder if we have teams there currently or if we will step back for a season. The broader population may look at this as ask why terrible things happen, or wonder where God was when the Earth shook.
My questions are a little different than these. They are directed at myself.
Did I look for opportunities in every moment to share the Gospel?
Did I love the people in Nepal well?
Did I cherish my time there?
Did I do everything I could to bring hope to the Nepali people?
I wish I could answer these questions with complete assurance, but if I am being honest… I wonder. I wonder if I passed someone in need without turning a head. I wonder if I thought of myself more than I should have as I occupied a seat on a crowded bus. I wonder if I complained too much when we had to hike for a bit so that we could have the best view of Kathmandu. I don’t see this wondering as something to bring shame or guilt, but as a reminder of why we are called to live this life and to share the Good News. Tomorrow isn’t promised. In our selfishness we sometimes turns that on ourselves. It’s the whole YOLO thing. But, no matter what happens tomorrow, I know that I am the Lord’s. It is heart breaking to realize that when tomorrow doesn’t become a reality, some people didn’t have that assurance. There is an urgency to this walk that we’re walking.
That being said – I am so grateful for the time that our squad was able to spend in the beautiful country of Nepal. We DID share the Good News. We DID love the people there. I have their stories etched in my mind and the feeling of little Nepali hands lingers on my palms. I saw incredible mountains and flung my body off of a bridge and into a canyon. We spent days riding buses just so that the people who boarded that day might see the light of Jesus in our actions and words. I know that the Lord is intentional. He had our squad in Nepal this year for important tasks. This world is certainly a fallen place, but it is not without hope. God has a plan, and His Kingdom is not just a theory or a dream. I’m seeing it every day of this adventure.
