Forgiving someone when you haven’t received an apology and more than likely won’t is a very, very difficult thing to do. It marks both emotional and spiritual maturity, and it is something I am striving for.
I had the metaphor of forgiveness described to me as a yoghurt parfait. You don’t have to scoop all the way down to the bottom to the bananas, you can scrape off a little bit of the cinnamon first, then the next a layer of whipped cream. Maybe you’ll find more cinnamon and think, I already took care of this? But you may need to go back and continue to pray about that part of the healing and forgiveness process.
It is so easy to judge someone when they treat you unfairly and do wrong to you. It is especially difficult when that person is someone you respected for a long time. It is also easy to be blind to their perspective and what is going on inside their own life and their own heart. Instead of getting angry and offended, take a deep breath and say a prayer for them. Say a prayer for whatever is going on in their heart and for the pain they are feeling.
We must remember that God loves them so much, that he sent his only son to die for them. For their sins. For the sins they used against you. Jesus went to the cross and sacrificed himself for that person.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, and forgive each other as Christ God has forgave you” -Ephesians 4:32
I used to allow others opinion of me define myself, so if ones opinion was less than positive, it crushed my spirit. Their words or actions would take root and would define me and my worth. So when this happened to me right before launch, I was devastated. The cruel words spoken over me were what I woke up to each morning for well over a month and I believed them. I believed I was pathetic.
Thank goodness for God’s faithfulness in his timing, that I have friends who love me so well, to speak biblical truth over me and affirm me when I was weak. Who laid hands on me and prayed for healing. Who allowed me to cry and be vulnerable.
It’s a work in progress, on not allowing others thoughts and opinions define me. But, I’m happy to say I’m in a much better place now than I was pre World Race. I know who God says I am, and that is the only opinion that truly matters.
I am also thankful for God’s grace and encouragement, that when the same situation happened again, and more harsh words were thrown my way, I didn’t let them define me. That God protected me from the sting, and loved me through the pain. And instead of getting angry and gossiping, we prayed. For her heart. For her pain. For whatever demons she is fighting.
“Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children, and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us”-Ephesians 5
